A New Mom's Journey Through Pregnancy and Birth

Agatha, a remarkable new mom and our special guest joins us in sharing her journey of juggling aspirations in nursing and midwifery while embarking on motherhood. She recounts the joyous moment of learning she was pregnant and her husband's supportive role throughout her pregnancy. Agatha also opens up about her experiences with mild morning sickness and the importance she placed on nutrition, offering insights into the diverse challenges women face during pregnancy. She highlights a supportive network's vital role in navigating motherhood's transformative journey through her story.

We venture into the complex world of birth choices in the U.S. healthcare system, focusing on the pivotal decision between an OBGYN and a midwife for mothers seeking a natural birth. Agatha shares her thoughts on the significance of birth centers as spaces for low-intervention births, illustrating the community's loss with the closure of a birth center in Beverly, Massachusetts, and the hope surrounding efforts to open a new one in Cambridge. Through personal anecdotes, we underscore the power of shared experiences and how they empower expectant mothers to make informed choices about their birthing plans.

Agatha's labor story is a testament to the unpredictability of childbirth, marked by an unexpected induction due to low amniotic fluid levels. She candidly recounts the emotional and physical challenges she faced, including the decision to opt for an epidural after many hours of labor. Agatha reflects on the dynamics in the delivery room, focusing on empathy, support, and the importance of flexibility in birth plans. In discussing the complexities of childbirth, she advocates for more open conversations that validate the diverse experiences of mothers, emphasizing resilience and adaptability during this monumental life event.

Music Credit
https://uppbeat.io/t/fass/airport-lounge
https://uppbeat.io/t/mark-july/fly-high
https://uppbeat.io/t/stan-town/peppy-steps
https://uppbeat.io/t/nick-petrov/reflection-point
https://uppbeat.io/t/konstantin-garbuzyuk/the-glow

Transcript

Stephanie Theriault (00:02)
Good Morning. Welcome to the Maternal Wealth podcast. This morning I have invited Agata who is here with us. Good morning. How are you doing this morning? I'm excited to have you here. This is going to be great. We have a podcast started with maternal Wealth. The idea of the podcast is for women, families,

Agata (00:13)
Good morning.

Good, very excited for this.

Stephanie Theriault (00:31)
maternal healthcare providers to come together and have a real, genuine, authentic conversation about all things pertaining to birth. So I have invited Agatha and we're gonna have a conversation about her recent labor and delivery. Wonderful. What's your baby's name?

Agata (00:50)
very recent because my baby is five weeks old so I'm very fresh in the topic.

Her name is Lucy, she's five weeks old in one day. So we're still in the very newborn stage in the newborn bubble, enjoying ourselves. So if you hear a baby crying, it's okay. She's just, you know, a little demanding at the moment.

Stephanie
And that's okay, that's okay. So if you, I would love to hear about how you found out that you are pregnant, were you trying, like tell us about the story.

Agata (01:30)
So yes, we were trying to get pregnant I was kind of deciding about going back to school and starting a nursing school actually And then I kind of decided that I I don't want to keep putting the decision about having a kid For longer because I knew that once I start school I'll want to do my bachelor's and then my master's and then I was thinking about doing midwife area and I was like if I once have a child right now, then I'll just

Stephanie Theriault (01:38)
Okay, thanks.


Agata (02:00)
keep putting the decision away and my partner is a little older. So we kind of just mutually agreed that now it's the best time because I can still start school and I can do it because I know that like now I will do it regardless. But if I started without a child, I would be like, okay, maybe another year, maybe I'll just get that degree and then I'll do this, you know? So we kind of agreed that now it's the best time for us.


Agata (02:30)
So we started trying, was, you know, like it took a couple of months, but it wasn't like very long process, although it was still very stressful. So I really feel for all the people that are trying for a very long time, because it's stressful. kind of, you know, like you're excited and you know that it might not happen at the first try, but then you're still kind of disappointed when it doesn't happen. So yeah, so we got pregnant. We found out together.


Agata (02:59)
I was like very, you know, I was monitoring my cycle and I was like, okay, like this is, you know, I was just very excited about it all. And luckily we got pregnant and it went smoothly. We waited a little bit to tell our families, cause I was, know, like there is so, like I just, as soon as I found out all my social media was about.


Agata (03:27)
all the videos about people having miscarriages and all of that and I was kind of like, was a little afraid of that happening because obviously there's a high chance of that happening. So we waited a little bit to tell our families but then once we did everything went fine and I had a very easy pregnancy so I can't really complain about that part.

Stephanie Theriault
How was did you have any symptoms of morning sickness?

Agata (03:56)
I did, but it wasn't severe at all. There would be mornings that I would really feel kind of nasty, right? But I found out that if I eat something before even leaving the bed, I'm fine. So my husband every night would bring me nuts and bananas and whatever, something that could stay overnight on my...


Agata (04:21)
nightstand and then the first time like the first thing in the morning when I opened my eyes I would just shove something in my mouth before even like being fully awake and that really helped so my husband's job was to just bring me snacks every night. Yeah so yeah I didn't really have any like severe morning sickness and then later on in pregnancy I really I really felt great my whole pregnancy.

Stephanie Theriault (04:27)
Okay, that's a good job. It's a fun job to have.

Agata (04:51)
I had, I think that that was easy on me. Because I felt, I felt well. I obviously there was, there were days that I felt a little tired, but it wasn't something that like, I couldn't get out of the couch or whatever, right? Like it was, it was rather smooth. At the very end, I had a little heartburn like the last two weeks of pregnancy, I had a little heartburn that tums were my friends, but you know, I had friends that were.

Agata (05:19)
pregnant in the same time that I was and they had severe nausea and then from like 20 weeks on they had like heartburn every single day and I was like, my gosh, I'm so lucky. I'm so lucky that it's going like very easy for me.

Stephanie Theriault (05:30)
Yeah, it's interesting how women experience pregnancy so differently.

Agata (05:39)
yes, absolutely. And then I think that my, I feel that my pregnancy was pretty smooth because I was really,

I was really focusing on my eating. So I was eating insane amount of protein. And I think that that helped my body run well. But also I know that my friends that had severe nausea, couldn't eat anything. So even if they tried eating more protein or anything, they just couldn't, right? So I think that my body just like, and I was all the time hungry, but I was hungry for protein. So when I was like, okay.


Agata (06:19)
I need a little snack, so I was eating Greek yogurts, just insane amount of proteins. I had this two months that I was eating eggs, and I could eat two dozen of eggs in a week. And my husband, every time he would open the fridge and he would be like, where are all the eggs? And I'm like, you know, we gotta run to the store. So I was eating insane amount of proteins. So I think that that also helped my body to like.

Agata (06:46)
run well till the very end of the pregnancy.

Stephanie Theriault (06:52)
So you're pregnant and you mentioned earlier that you were thinking about midwifery so I'm curious to hear with that who did you decide to have as a birth provider? Did you go the OBGYN route or did you have a midwife?

Agata (07:05)
So that was very complicated because I really wanted a midwife and I really wanted either a home birth or a birth center. But my husband was terrified about home birth and I was kind of like, I knew I could do it and I knew I would do well. But at the same time, you know, you've never done that, right? So it's kind of like a totally new experience. You don't know what to expect. You don't know how you're actually going to handle the whole laboring process. So I was, I,


Agata (07:34)
I knew I could do it, at the same time I was like, I don't know. So I really wanted to do a birth center, but then the one in Beverly is closed. And then the one in Cambridge is under construction for the last two years. the only, like the closest birthing center was in New Hampshire, but they didn't take my insurance. So it was just, you know, another problem. So I ended up.


Agata (08:03)
with a hospital and OB-GYN because

Now that I think about it, I would probably do it a little differently with all the things that I know already. But I was, you know, like I was looking for hospital that had like a really low rate of c-sections and all of that. And then I didn't really feel comfortable with any of the hospitals. And I kind of went with a suggestion of my friend that's also pregnant. And that was previously, that's her second pregnancy. The first one.

Agata (08:37)
unfortunately didn't end up the way we wished for. And she had a bad experience with a hospital nearby and I was like, okay, so maybe I shouldn't go with that rather. And that's where my current OB-GYN was. So I transferred to the same place that she was at, which was Winchester Hospital. And I had a great experience with the hospital and all of that, but because I wanted an unmedicated birth, I wanted a natural.


Agata (09:07)
process of laboring and all of that, think that right now I would be more focused in finding a midwife and skip the OB-GYN. But you live, learn.

Stephanie Theriault (09:15)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Right, we all yes exactly it's hard when you're going into it for your first time and knowing how to navigate the healthcare system in maternal health

Agata (09:31)
Yes, absolutely. And especially that, so I'm originally from Poland. I moved to the States five years ago. So, know, like, and I was 18 when I moved here. I'm like navigating my adult life in a country that I don't really know. And the healthcare system is here so much different. So for example, like when I was comparing,

Stephanie Theriault (09:43)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Agata (09:56)
like my family and friends from Poland and the care that they were receiving, it's so much different from the OB care in the United States. So it was kind of, you know, like I didn't have much to compare it to. So, you know, it's all a process. But now that I know what I know, I think I do it a little differently and I would be more focused on finding a good midwife and all of that.

Stephanie Theriault (10:09)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, great. Right, it's about moving forward and learning from your experiences and then sharing in a part of what this podcast is, is for us to talk about our experiences. So our listeners can hear and then they can use your experience and the others who come forward to talk about it and they can have that information to choose the best offer, right?

Agata (10:27)
You can go back in time. Yes, absolutely.

I think that's so important. Yeah, I think that's so important because when I was pregnant I was looking for resources like that, right? Like you've never experienced anything like that in your life. So you don't know, you truly don't. And like you can have an idea. And I think that the more we talk about it, the more we talk about women having different choices because my goal was for a natural birth, but there are women who decide that C-section is their best option or...

Stephanie Theriault (10:53)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Agata (11:16)
they decide that they want to do epidural from like right away, right? And it's totally fine and everyone has a choice, but I think it's important to talk about those choices and talk about those experiences because that's how we learn, that's how we know, right? So yeah, think it's really great what you're doing here. So I'm really excited.

Stephanie Theriault (11:27)
Yes.

Right.

Thank you. Thank you. I just want to put in for context, Agatha and I live in, we are located in the North shore of Massachusetts. So we're about like 30, 35 minutes North of Boston. So in Beverly, there was a birth center that closed when in 2022? Yeah. So there was a birth center located with Beverly hospital. And unfortunately,

Agata (11:51)
Correct.

I think so,

Stephanie Theriault (12:04)
It closed and there was a lot of protests and a lot of moms came out and they were trying to keep it open, trying to find ways to open another birth center. But unfortunately it didn't happen. So in the works, as you mentioned earlier in Cambridge, there is a community birth center that has been in the works. I don't know about construction or where they are in the process, but the community is trying to put it together.

Agata (12:15)
Yeah.

Apparently they're supposed to open beginning of 2025. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that because I think that the birthing centers are such an important place, you know, especially for women who who hoped for like low intervention and medicated birth. Like that's so important. And I feel like we don't have that enough here. You know, we really don't.

Stephanie Theriault (12:35)
amazing, amazing.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Right, right, we don't. And losing the birth center definitely, I think the community felt the loss.

Agata (13:06)
Absolutely. Like I talked to so many women and they were heartbroken for the birthing center. They, for example, my friend recently had a baby. Our babies are a month apart, but she had, that was her third child and she had her previous kids in the birthing center and she loved it. And she was so upset that it's not open anymore. And I think that that was a big loss for the whole community.

Stephanie Theriault (13:26)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, one of the positive aspects of the birth center that was located in Beverly is that was located on the hospital grounds of Beverly Hospital. So if in the event that something needed extra attention, it was right across the street, the hospital. So the location wise was beneficial too. So for patients or mothers or pregnant people who wanted the birth center, birth, but

Agata (13:54)
Yes.

Stephanie Theriault (14:06)
wanted to be close to a hospital, it was perfect. Yeah. All right. Let's get back to you. I want to hear about your birth story. So you're pregnant. You had a good pregnancy. You decided to go to Winchester. You have an OBGYN You're getting close to term. Let's get into it.

Agata (14:08)
That was a perfect place for it.

You

Yes, so I was very clear with my OB that I would like the natural process of the birth and that I don't want to even talk about having an induction at 39 weeks and all of that, And she was really on board with that. I was already 40 weeks and then we had to schedule an ultrasound just to make sure that

Stephanie Theriault (14:38)
Mm-hmm.

Agata (14:53)
that there was enough fluids for the baby and all of that, which we did at 40 weeks and two days. And unfortunately, my baby did not have enough waters. And I kind of knew what that's going to mean. And I was devastated. Like, being honest, I really was. I started to cry during the ultrasound, and I cried the whole appointment with my OB.

Stephanie Theriault (15:05)
Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (15:19)
my husband was like, didn't really know what's going on because he knew that I really wanted an unmedicated birth and I kind of knew that with induction that's pretty much not possible to happen. So.

Stephanie Theriault (15:22)
Yeah.

Sorry, pretty much not possible to have. okay.

Agata (15:40)
to happen for the, that like, if they start giving me Pitocin and all of that, I might not be able to just keep going with unmedicated birth. But at this point, they were kind of pushy with the induction because I was already over my due date, the baby had like low waters. So I kind of knew that I, like, I could protest and I could be like, no, let's like wait another few days. But I knew that at that point it's.

Stephanie Theriault (15:48)
Yes.

Agata (16:08)
there's no really point because she technically was ready, right? So after the appointment, we got home, we took my suitcase and we went to the hospital. And I truly cried the entire way home, the entire way to the hospital. That was just not the experience that I wanted. I was really disappointed. To be honest, I was really disappointed.

Stephanie Theriault (16:14)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

my goodness. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (16:38)
and really afraid of how the process of induction is going to go. So I got to the hospital, I was admitted. I asked for them to check and again the waters just to make sure that really we need that because I was really just like hanging till the last second that maybe we don't need that induction.

Stephanie Theriault (16:44)
Yeah.

Okay.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So you had them check the water again, the fluid, and make sure it doesn't, I like that. You had them double check.

Agata (17:04)
Yes.

Yeah, I was just like, please just don't check because I really don't want the induction. But unfortunately, that's what we did. And because I hope that my body will kind of get the, you know, like we can trick my body and be like, OK, like it's time and my body will actually start going by itself into labor. I didn't want any medication. So we did the folly balloon and now.

Stephanie Theriault (17:10)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Agata (17:35)
I know that I would never have that again. I had to foley people for five hours, which possibly were the worst five hours of my birth, the entire birth.

Stephanie Theriault (17:37)
Mmm.

Okay.

Yeah, can I want to ask you about the balloon? For the balloon, did they start with the balloon? Or did you have a little bit of cervical ripening? Was there any kind of medication given to you before the balloon? How did that look?

Agata (17:52)
Mm-hmm.

So I was already about one centimeter dilated, which isn't much, but they said it was enough to put the balloon in. And because I kind of requested the balloon, because I hoped that I will do the balloon and my body will be like, OK, let's do it, right? Without any kind of medication. But unfortunately, didn't happen. And after the balloon, after five hours with the balloon,

Stephanie Theriault (18:13)
Mm-hmm.

Agata (18:31)
my body was just not in labor. My cervix started to open and I was five centimeters dilated at that point after the balloon, but that didn't do anything really. My body was just not progressing on its own. actually my OB was at the hospital. She had her shift, how you call it?

Stephanie Theriault (18:35)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

she was on the floor.

Agata (19:01)
uncle, yes, yes, yes. So she kind of knew that I didn't want to, you know, all the interventions, all of that. So she took the balloon out and then she said that we can start on pitocin or break my waters. And I asked her to like give my body a little break and maybe like my...

my body will naturally start going into labor. But unfortunately, after I think two hours, two, three hours, that didn't do anything. So they started me on Pitocin because I didn't want to break my waters. So we started Pitocin and again, I requested that they will do only one up not the regular two app every 30 minutes. Because I hope again that if

Stephanie Theriault (19:40)
Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (19:55)
like my body will get a little hint, like a little pitocin and like it will go into labor, which again didn't happen. So, but they started with like a very low dosage and they didn't, they didn't like up it as much as regular because I requested that that's what they would do and they did. So they were very, they were very like okay with my decisions and they were respected it.

Stephanie Theriault (19:58)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

A.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (20:24)
So I had a doula. The doula wasn't with me at the hospital at that point yet because I just told her that there's no really point for that. But my doula was kind of guiding me. I was obviously doing a lot of research before, but she was, you know, like I just needed a little voice next to me being like, OK, maybe we could try this. Maybe you could try that. So that's what we did.

Stephanie Theriault (20:24)
Good, good.

Thanks.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (20:53)
and that didn't help. They were putting the Pitocin up and I had pretty regular contractions but as soon as they would lower the Pitocin or turn it off, my labor was just stalling. my body was not naturally in the labor. So we started the induction on Thursday and then on Friday around 11 a.m.

Stephanie Theriault (21:09)
Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Agata (21:22)
my body was not progressing, so they were like, okay, maybe we can break your waters and hope that that would help. So that's what we did. It didn't help. So around 2 p.m., my doula texted me and she's like, how are you dealing with the contractions? Is it time for me to come yet? And I was like, no, I feel great. Like, I'm really doing well. The contractions are intense, but like, I'm really dealing with them well. And she goes, how high are you on Pitocin? And I'm like,

Stephanie Theriault (21:27)
Mm-hmm.

in.

Agata (21:52)
I'm 16 already and she goes 16. Yes. And she goes, that's like you're pretty much maxed out and pitocin And I'm like, okay. And she goes like, you're really good with the contractions. I'm like, they're like intense, but like I'm okay. I think. And she goes, okay, I'm coming. Because you can, if someone doesn't know, you can technically go only up to 20 and.

Stephanie Theriault (21:55)
1616? Okay.

Hehehehe

Agata (22:21)
to go above that you need like a special permit kind of and you need two doctors to approve it or something like that. At least that's what they told me at the hospital.

Stephanie Theriault (22:31)
Right, generally, yes, once you get to 20, then there's like a little team meeting and everyone talks about risks and deciding whether going up is appropriate. Yes, but there are hospitals that will even go above 30. I know, yeah.

Agata (22:44)
wow, I didn't know that. They told me that that's very risky and they would not want me to go above 20 unless it's absolutely necessary. So technically I was almost at the maximum, which as soon as they stopped that I was not in labor anymore.

Stephanie Theriault (22:52)
Yes.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Agata (23:09)
So yeah, my doula came to the hospital around 3 p.m. and then at five, like she was like, okay, how about like, we turned it off, we let you labor down for a little bit because also they technically did not allow me to eat at that point. As soon as I started pitocin and I couldn't eat anymore. So that was already like 14, 15 hours of me not eating, which I was starving, exhausted and yeah.

Stephanie Theriault (23:16)
Mm-hmm.

Great.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that's a long time. It's a long time.

Agata (23:39)
it is. So maybe I shouldn't say that on a podcast, but my husband was standing by the door and I was hiding behind my doula having a little bar. Because you need that energy. you're you're this is literally a marathon. Like you need you need the energy. And that was my second day in labor. And those contractions were pretty consistent. And that like, you know, like, I just need it.

Stephanie Theriault (23:43)
and

Yes.

It really is.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (24:07)
to eat a little bit. So around 5pm we labored down, no it was a little earlier than that I think, so we labored down. My doula I was like maybe your body just needs a little break and then we'll put you back on pitocin and then we'll get that kick and you'll do it. Which didn't happen, I had contractions for 10 hours every two minutes. So that was very intense.

Stephanie Theriault (24:07)
Mm-hmm. I hear you, yes.

you

Agata (24:37)
I would want to say that because I think I had the great support, like really that support during birth, it's the most important thing. if you have people around you that like are there for you, no matter what, you really can do anything. You can do anything because I had those contractions for, yeah, I would say 10 hours every two minutes. I did not have any pain medication.

Stephanie Theriault (24:54)
Yeah.

Agata (25:05)
And I could do it. My doula was amazing. She was changing my positions. She was telling my husband, because obviously that was new for him too. And I told my doula from the very beginning that I would want her to be for both of us, because I wouldn't want to have that experience that after birth I would be like, you could help me with this or that. I wanted her to help my husband be there for me.

Stephanie Theriault (25:22)
Yeah.

Agata (25:34)
And that's what she did. did like honestly, she did such an amazing job. I will forever be thankful for her. for her. for that. She really helped me. She helped my husband. She made that like, she helped us enjoy that experience better and more than we probably would if we were there alone. 

Stephanie Theriault (25:34)
Mm-hmm.

That's nice to hear. It's nice to hear because I agree with what you're saying. When you have a good support system, when you have somebody who's at your side and then the doula can give the partner a break and someone is that way. Somebody's always at your side telling you can do this. You can do this and you have that strong support system and make such a difference.

Agata (26:09)
Yes.

Absolutely, I really at that point I didn't really even think about getting any like pain management. Like, sorry, I did get pain management, but that was shower. I was in the shower and I was kind of like on my force in the shower. The water was so soothing. If you have the option to go into the tub or in the shower during birth, do it. This is like the most amazing thing. As soon as the water was touching my skin.

Stephanie Theriault (26:26)
Mm-hmm.

Thank

Mm-hmm.

Agata (26:42)
I was like 100 % better.

Stephanie Theriault (26:45)
Okay, nice. Can I, I want to ask you, because you were saying that you're on the pitocin and then in the shower. Did you have wireless monitoring when you were doing that? Okay.

Agata (26:52)
Yes, yes I did. So the hospital had a bathtub that I used. I actually used the bathtub during the five hours that I had the balloon. And the tub was amazing. I absolutely loved it. We dimmed the lights. My husband was there with me. We put a little music on. Like the tub was just...

Stephanie Theriault (27:05)
Okay.

Agata (27:18)
Soothing as soon as I got out of the tub. I felt like I'm falling apart And then I go back into the shop and I was like, okay, I can do it like I literally can do it And then so the hospital had the wireless monitors they didn't really work that great to be honest like you know like the the use the Wi-Fi and then the Bluetooth and sometimes like it didn't connect well, so the nurses have to like keep coming and like

Stephanie Theriault (27:26)
Awesome, okay.

Agata (27:46)
fixing it and all of that. it wasn't great, but at least that gave me the break and like I could, you know, like go for the 10 minutes into the shower or whatever. So, so yes, they did have that. And that was very important for me with the hospital births that they had the wireless monitors in case of situation like this, because as soon as you get pitos and they kind of have to monitor you all the time, right.

Stephanie Theriault (28:10)
Mm-hmm.

Agata (28:12)
So yeah, so they did have the wireless pointers and I used the shower and it was absolutely the best. Absolutely the best. Yeah, the showers were like, it was a tiny little shower, but like I kind of like put my legs in back into the shower and like my head was out of the shower on the ball, like on the big birthing ball. And like I was on my fours, it was.

Stephanie Theriault (28:19)
Okay, yeah, that's nice to hear. They had that option.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Agata (28:41)
amazing, like the water helped me so much. if you if you're listening to this and you have that option, try that because for me that was a game changer. But around, I would say, 2 a.m. on Saturday morning, I like I thought that I made such a huge progress because my my contractions became like really intense, like really, really intense. And I was maxed out on pitocin which obviously I think

Stephanie Theriault (28:48)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (29:11)
That's what, that was the reason why they were so intense because I just had such a high dose of Pitocin. So the OB came, we did our cervical check and I told my Doula and I told her that I don't want to know how far I am because the first time they checked me and I didn't progress at all, that was very, very, very discouraging to me. And I felt like I'm failing and I just didn't want that disappointment again, if that's what

Stephanie Theriault (29:33)
Yeah.

Agata (29:40)
was happening. So I told my Doula that I don't want to know anything. I would like her to go out with the doctor and see how far I am. And if I didn't progress at all, like a little reminder, that was already me being in labor for about 40 hours. And I didn't sleep for all that time, since Wednesday from since Thursday morning, right? And I didn't eat.

Stephanie Theriault (29:42)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that's a long time.

Agata (30:10)
So I was exhausted, truly. So I told her that if I didn't progress at all, which I knew that could be a possibility, I want the epidural. And if I am progressing and everything is going well, like I am ready to do that, right? So if she could just ask for nitrous oxide, I can, because like it was really getting intense. And I just felt like,

Stephanie Theriault (30:10)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

you

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (30:39)
maybe I just need like a little kick, you know, like a little push. So she came back and I saw from her face, she didn't say anything because she didn't want me to be discouraged, but I saw from her face that I didn't progress. And for the, I don't know, 15 hours that I was in labor, 10 hours of contractions every two minutes, I did not progress at all.

Stephanie Theriault (31:06)
Mm-hmm.

Agata (31:08)
So she asked for the epidural and she came in and she was like, hey, so great news You're getting the epidural and I was like I was because that was something that I tried to avoid at all cost I really didn't want the epidural because of all the things like it wasn't even about the poking my spine or anything but like when I started to read about like the consequences of a epidural to the baby and all of that I just didn't want that but at that point

Stephanie Theriault (31:16)
No.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (31:38)
I was in labor for so long that they were kind of like, we either like let your body relax, right? Or very soon we'll have to start about C-section, which again, like that's something that even more I wanted to avoid. So we did the epidural Yep. And I was really disappointed.

Stephanie Theriault (31:44)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm, you got the epidural, okay.

Agata (32:05)
Like honestly, I was really disappointed. felt like, my gosh, like I was preparing so much. I put so much work into like preparing my like my mind, my body into this process and then it didn't work. And I was truly, truly disappointed. And I had like a huge conversation during birth with my my doula about it because I was like, listen, like we we did so much work and like, why isn't it working? And she's like, like, this is not your fault. Like

Stephanie Theriault (32:10)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Agata (32:33)
It's just, just you, maybe you weren't fully ready to give birth yet and like maybe your body's just not there and it's okay. Like just let's just do the epidural. You'll have some time to relax. Maybe take a little nap and maybe that will just be the trick for your body. And that's indeed what it was because three hours later I was fully dilated.

Stephanie Theriault (32:33)
Yeah.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Wow! Okay, three hours later after the epidural, nice!

Agata (32:57)
Yes, so about like hour and a half, two hours after the epidural, the nurses came in and they started to like, you know, like, because I was sleeping, like every like whole room was sleeping, my doula was sleeping, my husband was sleeping because we are all just so exhausted. And they were we're fixing the monitor because they were like, we can't really feel like the heart rate for the baby and all of that. And I was like, OK, because I was really afraid of like something actually happening like that.

Stephanie Theriault (33:10)
Right.

Agata (33:26)
the baby's heart rate might be dropping or mine. So like they were fixing it and then they were like, they saw that there was like a lot of blood coming out and they were like, maybe we should like call in the doctor just to see like what's going on. And there was a lot of blood because I was just progressing so well. And yeah, and I was like eight and a half centimeters dilated at that point. And then

Stephanie Theriault (33:29)
Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Bloody Show

Agata (33:55)
And then yeah, like the three hour mark, I was fully dilated. So it was around like, I would say. So maybe it was a little bit over three hours. Yeah, something like that. I don't remember exactly. Okay, sorry. But it was around that mark that I was fully dilated. And they were like, okay, so like, if you feel like the urge, like if you feel a lot of pressure, like you can start pushing at that point, because I was already fully dilated.

Stephanie Theriault (34:08)
Thank

Mm-hmm.

Agata (34:24)
And I did and I was pushing about for about hour and a half Which I guess it's average for a first time mom And it was it was something honestly and

Stephanie Theriault (34:29)
Mm-hmm.

Yep, absolutely, yep.

How was it feel like how did it feel for you? Sometimes I have patients who can really feel the pressure and sometimes have patients who don't feel anything. How was it for you with epidural pushing?

Agata (34:51)
So, so, that's very interesting because my mind was, I have an epidural I wouldn't feel anything. But then it was a real little reality check. I don't like that's the thing, like I don't think that the epidural were out because I literally had it for what three, four hours, maybe at that point, but I felt a lot and I felt a lot more than they told me I technically should be feeling.

Stephanie Theriault (34:58)
Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (35:21)
Because it was the same thing with the, how do you call it, the cater that goes into your orethra. Like, yes, because you need it placed when you have epidural. And I felt that a lot. And they said, yes, yes. And they were like, you shouldn't only be feeling that with the epidural. And I was like, I can feel that. And I hate that. So I literally begged them.

Stephanie Theriault (35:30)
the catheter. Yes.

Right.

you could. Okay.

Agata (35:49)
As soon as I was fully dilated, I was like, please take it out. I just cannot, this hurts me so much, please take it out. So then throughout the pushing, I guess I felt less than I would if I didn't have the epidural, but I still could feel a lot. There was a lot of...

Stephanie Theriault (35:49)
Thank you.

Thank

Mm-hmm.

Did, sorry, did they take out the catheter before you started pushing? Okay. They did take it out.

Agata (36:13)
Yes. So I was, so I was, so like, I was technically pushing and I was like, please, like I was begging them to take it out and they were like, yeah, we really want you to like have the baby very low. Like we could, like we can technically see the baby before we take it out because if you're pushing for longer than an hour, we would have to place it again and that would be very unpleasant. And I was like, please, like I begged them and they did, and they did take it out because it was so painful for me. I don't understand. They told me that technically

Stephanie Theriault (36:27)
Thank you.

I see, Okay.

Yeah.

Agata (36:42)
wouldn't, but I found it way more painful than the baby.

Stephanie Theriault (36:43)
Thank you.

Yeah, it's interesting how it's just epidural affects people differently and where they have like areas where they can feel pain. So I'm glad that they took it out for you.

Agata (36:54)
Yeah.

yes they did and it was like once that was out that was like the best feeling ever. So yeah they took it out and I was pushing for about an hour and a half and I was around 7am was the doctors and nurses change like the shift change and I really hoping that I would get a new doctor because the other one was she was

Stephanie Theriault (37:04)
I bet.

Okay.

Agata (37:27)
Just not my vibe, honestly. Like just not a doctor that I would want for myself. And the shift happened and my baby was here at 720. So like perfect. Yeah, so it was like perfectly at the shift change. And actually the doctor that was there when my daughter was born was the same doctor that was admitting me to the hospital. And my nurse...

Stephanie Theriault (37:29)
Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, maybe your baby felt the same way.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (37:56)
that was with me all night and she knew about like all my preferences. She's like putting the gown on the doctor. She's explaining it to her and she's like so because I had very specific want kind of like for for when the baby's here. So like I didn't want the cord clamping at all. And then I wanted her to be obviously on my chest and I didn't want them to like stimulate her unless it's like absolutely necessary, like after the minute or whatever. And she's just not not responding. But that wasn't the case. So that was awesome.

Stephanie Theriault (38:10)
Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Agata (38:26)
and she's explaining, she's putting the gown on her, she's like, but she doesn't want cord clamping and the doctor's like, I know, and I'm like, and the nurse was like, yeah, but she wants the dad to do this and do that, and she's like, I know, I know, I read her birth plan, and she goes, no, no, no, but she wants also this and that, and she's like, I was admitting her, I went over that with her, I'm okay. So the doctor didn't even have to,

the time to change because I guess they pulled her out from the hallway and they were like, okay, you gotta be here. yeah, literally she just came in with her bag with her little coffee. She put her all on the side. They put the gown on her and all of that. yeah, that was pretty much the experience, but she was great. had also, so they told us that technically they won't be many nurses.

Stephanie Theriault (38:56)
Puts her coffee down.

you

Agata (39:19)
you're in the room with us when I'm giving birth, unless something's going wrong, right? And then right before she was born, there was a rush of people, and there were at least 10 nurses in there. And I could see in my husband's face, he went blank, and he was like, my gosh, something's happening, because they told us that's not going to happen unless something's happening, right?

Stephanie Theriault (39:22)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Agata (39:44)
And I had like one nurse right like on my face. Like there was just a bunch of people there. And like he goes like he was terrified. He was like after the birth, he was like, yeah, I told them like something's either happening to you or the baby because like obviously they weren't saying anything. But then, of course, that we had so many nurses only because there was a shift change and there was like basically double nurses for everything because there were the ones from the night shift and the one from the morning shift. And they kind of like had to.

Stephanie Theriault (39:53)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (40:14)
overlap so they were all in my room but it wasn't anything wrong we just you know because it was the shift change that that's why there was so many people there but I had one nurse like directly in my face and like she was she was so funny like now that I think about it because I was like you know at the end you're like you're like the baby's almost here and you're like I just can't do it anymore

Stephanie Theriault (40:16)
Okay.

ISP.

Agata (40:39)
like I just cannot and I was like just cut me open I just can't do it and that nurse was like over my face she was like it's not like you can or cannot do it you're doing it right now

And that was like kind of like the last pushes and then like obviously they were saying like, my gosh, she's almost here I can see her head and I just look at my husband I look at the doctor and I'm like you liars You've been saying that for the last 10 pushes And but like she did it and like you know what I know that like that's not for everyone but I touched like the head when it was coming out and I was like

Stephanie Theriault (41:01)
Yeah.

You

Okay.

Agata (41:23)
Okay, she's here. like I actually like she's actually here like I have so little work to do right now like I already did so much like that was a very long three days and she's almost here. So I touched that head and I was like, okay, like, like, like she's here. Like I can do it. And like, my gosh, that was another thing like halfway like the head was like halfway out.

Stephanie Theriault (41:42)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Touch her. She's there.

Agata (41:52)
and I didn't have a contraction, another contraction for five minutes. Like that was the longest five minutes of my life. And like how the head was out and I was like, why am I not having another contraction? And the nurses was like, no, we're fine. Like that's normal. Like just try to like breathe through it. You're like, you're doing great. All of that. And I was just like, my God.

Stephanie Theriault (41:57)
Of course.

I bet, I bet.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

you

Yeah.

Agata (42:17)
Like is there anything else that will like go off from what I wanted? But after it was very very long five minutes that the rest of the head came out and basically the body just flew out like like was the head was out like the whole body was pretty much so Yeah, and like the second she was out that's just like when when women said that like you forget it you forget it like you see that head and you're like

Stephanie Theriault (42:20)
Thank

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

That's so great.

this.

Agata (42:47)
my god, she's here. Like nothing else matters. And then I looked at my husband, he was crying. That was just such a beautiful moment. And another thing, I asked my doula, obviously I forgot about it, I asked my doula on one of our visits, halfway through pregnancy, and I was like, can you please take pictures? Take pictures. And obviously these are not pictures that you're going to show people, right?

Stephanie Theriault (42:48)
Yeah. Yeah.

Aww. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (43:16)
But now that I go back to it and I can see my husband's face when she's coming out and I see myself with her the first few minutes of her life really, that's so beautiful. And I highly recommend this to everyone because sometimes you're just like, my gosh, how did I do it? And then you go back to those pictures and you see it, that baby is there, you know? It's so...

Stephanie Theriault (43:41)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Agata (43:44)
Like I'm so glad I have those pictures because like these are just like this is so beautiful to go back to. And really, like I'm so glad that she did. I obviously didn't like you don't think when like you're in this process, you don't really think that much. Like you did your yes, absolutely. And she remembered that's another thing like guys get the doula like doula is something that you need.

Stephanie Theriault (43:51)
Yeah.

Right, you get caught up in everything.

Agata (44:10)
And she took those pictures like she just took my phone took those pictures And then like few days like few days few hours later after like birth I was going through my pictures and I was like, my gosh We have all those pictures like I have a video of my husband cutting the cord and just so beautiful. Honestly Just so glad I have that

Stephanie Theriault (44:10)
Yeah.

Yeah, that's really nice. And it's important to think too, because sometimes patients might think that the nurses or the doctors are able to do that and take those pictures in the moment. We can do it afterwards, but in the moment, there's so many things that we're doing with our hands. And that's why having like a doula or somebody like another family member or friend, that's designated to the photos. Right.

Agata (44:43)
Yes. Yes, absolutely.

Yes, because your husband's there for you too. My husband was just right there next to me, right? Being at the moment with me. So he didn't think about that either. He was just like, my gosh, it's like the baby's here.

Stephanie Theriault (44:56)
Mm-hmm.

Right. Right. Yeah, you don't want him behind the screen. You want him like in it.

Agata (45:08)
Yes, absolutely. that was really like, wow, those pictures are probably one of the most beautiful ones I have. It's like so special to like, you know, like us seeing her for the first time and just like, my gosh, really, really special, really special.

Stephanie Theriault (45:23)
Yeah, I bet. Yeah, and you will cherish those photos forever. Forever.

Agata (45:29)
Absolutely, yes. Yes, absolutely. Just now thinking about it, it just makes me so happy. Yeah, it's very special. So if you want to photograph her or have a doula take them or have a mom take them, because my mom is in Poland, so she couldn't be there with me during birth. But if you have a mom that you want during birth, just ask them to take those pictures. You'll cherish them forever, really.

Stephanie Theriault (45:36)
So

Mm-hmm.

That's great advice. I love that.

Agata (45:59)
Yeah. Yeah, so she was here and that was, that was like, I really couldn't believe that like, this is my baby and like I did it, you know?

Stephanie Theriault (46:03)
That's good.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, those first, talk about those first like moments with her on your chest and doing skin to skin and just smelling her and all that.

Agata (46:22)
was just, like, that's, the words can explain that. Like, I, like, I always knew I wanted to be a mom. Like, that was something that I always knew. even when I was a teenager, like, I always knew that this is something that I want in life. I always wanted to be a mom. I always wanted to have a big family. So, like, second they put her on my chest, I was like, my gosh, she's actually mine. Like, like,

Stephanie Theriault (46:42)
Mm-hmm.

Agata (46:49)
That's it. I looked at my husband and he looked at me with tears in his eyes. That's just so beautiful. You really can explain that feeling. I'm speechless when I think about that. Because that was very, very special. They put her on my chest and they honored my wishes. They didn't stimulate her.

Stephanie Theriault (46:55)
like that.

Right.

Agata (47:18)
pretty much immediately cried after she was born, so that wasn't even an issue. They just covered her with few warm blankets and she was on my chest. I smelled her little tiny head and looked into those tiny little eyes. That was just so beautiful. So yeah, that was really special. I really can't explain that. That was just so...

Stephanie Theriault (47:36)
Thank you.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Agata (47:47)
I don't know, you just get that little person and you know that that's the same person that was in your belly but you're kind of like, how did that all happen? Honestly, how did that all happen? She was there and she's here now, wow, my body did such an amazing work. When you think about that, how your body can create a baby.

Stephanie Theriault (47:57)
Anyway.

Yeah.

Agata (48:15)
My body did all that work and it didn't take any thinking work from me, right? I didn't have to sit down and put the pieces together. That's not a thing. Your body's just designed so amazingly to do all that work. It's just so, wow, every time I think about it, I'm mind blown.

Stephanie Theriault (48:28)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep.

Right, when you really sit down and you think about the whole process from the beginning to the end and the end product being a live human being, this adorable, cute, snuggly little baby, it's, it's, it's right. Like you said, it's mind boggling. There's words I can't describe that whole process.

Agata (48:51)
Absolutely.

Yes, it's like, course you like know the biological part of that, right? Like you know how it happens. But then when you like when you think about that and your body created like you created that person like it's just like I'm speechless. It's it's crazy. But yeah, I my body did all that work and she's here and she's perfect.

Stephanie Theriault (49:00)
Anyway.

the

Right.

Right.

Yeah. I want to ask you, going over your story and how you had expectations about how your birth would go and how labor will go and the end product, what advice would you give to women who are in the similar situation where they're pregnant now and they have an idea how they want their birth to go? And then also for women.

Agata (49:28)
Yes.

Stephanie Theriault (49:50)
who are where you are postpartum and the experience wasn't what they had hoped to or planned for. What advice would you give them now?

Agata (50:01)
I think it's okay to be disappointed because I truly was so disappointed with my birth. And again, there was nothing I planned for. didn't want any of those interventions. I actually had that conversation with my husband the other day that I really feel upset about this. And I think that's okay. I think that, you know, of course it's very important that you and the baby are healthy and that you're doing fine and well.

And that's absolutely important, right? But I understand, and I kind of felt upset that people didn't really understand where I'm coming from. And they were just telling me, but you and the baby are fine. So like, it doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter. Like, it matters. It matters to me. Like, this is really big part of me right now, you know? Like, all the things that I went through, and that's okay to be disappointed, and that's okay to have, you know, not...

that great of a feelings about it. And it's like, you should be validated for that because this is like your body did that, you had to go through that process. And it's okay to be disappointed that you ended up having a scheduled C-section or it's okay to be disappointed that you're in labor for three days, not like 10 hours as you imagine. And it's okay, like this is part of you and no one can tell you.

how to feel about it. You did an amazing work and it's very important to remember that. you did all of this. No one else done that for you. You created a person and you're doing great and it's okay to not have warm feelings about your birth experience because I truly am not feeling great about my birthing experience. And maybe with time.

Stephanie Theriault (51:39)
Yeah.

Agata (52:00)
that will change and I'll be like, okay, like we needed to do what we needed to do. But yes, I am disappointed because that's nothing I wanted. That's nothing I expected. I cried most of my birth about that because that was nothing I wanted. And my doula was there for me and she was like, I know that this is not what you wanted, but this is what we have to do at the moment. And we don't really have any other choice. And...

Stephanie Theriault (52:14)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Agata (52:29)
Unfortunately, that was the reality. So yeah, it's okay. You're absolutely right. You have the right to be upset and not to feel great about it. And that's okay.

Stephanie Theriault (52:37)
Hmm.

I really appreciate you being honest and open and sharing that because I think a lot of women feel the same way and validating the fact that it's okay to be disappointed, even with the outcome of a healthy baby, a healthy mom, it's okay to recognize that and validate those feelings. Absolutely.

Agata (53:03)
Yeah, that's really important because I think that, of course, like, I think that other women also do this to us, right? They just tell us, it's fine. Like, it wasn't that bad for you. I had it worse. Like, maybe you did. Maybe you did. Maybe you truly did. But it doesn't matter. Like, this woman doesn't feel great about it, right? So like, how about we say something nice? How about we just say, I'm so sorry that it didn't go as planned?

Stephanie Theriault (53:18)
Yeah.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (53:32)
Do you think there's something that you can do better or you know for the next time if you decide to have another child? just let's, as women, let's not do this to each other, right? Like, let's just be kind. Let's just be there for each other. Like, just say something nice. Yes.

Stephanie Theriault (53:38)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah. I agree. agree. Lift each other up because we all experience birth and pregnancy and delivery in a different way. And it's okay to feel how we feel and listen and just lift each other up and recognize how we feel and support each other because we all want the same thing. Right? We all go into this and we all want people to be happy. We all want to support mothers. And so

Agata (54:12)
Yes, absolutely.

Stephanie Theriault (54:18)
I think what you're saying is, is great. And to have that conversation, right. And give the space for other women to feel the same way who might feel the same way to let them know others feel just like you do. And that's okay.

Agata (54:21)
Yeah.

Yeah, that's... you have every right to feel that way. That's, I think, that's the message. It's okay.

Stephanie Theriault (54:37)
Thank

I have one last question for you.

Agata (54:42)
Yes.

Stephanie Theriault (54:44)
So think about 20, 30 years from now when Lucy is older and maybe she's pregnant and she's about to give birth. What do you want? What kind What message would you want her to hear from you about her, about her delivery? I know I would get choked up even just asking you the question.

Agata (54:53)
Mm-hmm.

gosh.

That's so, like, just thinking about it, it's like, I think, I think, so I've heard that once from a midwife saying that the birth of the child kind of gives you the idea of how, what you will need to raise that child. That the birth is like, kind of like the start, the birth is giving you the start into how

Stephanie Theriault (55:14)
Hehehehe

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (55:41)
the raising will go. And I think what her birth taught me is to be patient, to have expectations, but know that everything might change, that I cannot control everything even though I want to, and to kind of let it go. I think that's all her birth taught me.

Stephanie Theriault (56:00)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Agata (56:09)
and that the end result is just precious. Yeah. I hope that she will have easier birth than I did. That's a big one too.

Stephanie Theriault (56:13)
That's beautiful. Yeah.

hahaha

Agata (56:27)
Yeah.

Stephanie Theriault (56:28)
Well, perfect. Well, thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me, to share your story, to share your message. It was very delightful and it was my pleasure.

Agata (56:39)
Thank you so much for having me here because this is, I think this is so special and this is so important for other women to hear those stories, know that you can do it. Like you're absolutely can do it because I know that many women think, my gosh, I don't know how I'll deal with the pain. I don't know how I will do it all. And the truth is you can do it. you, your body is so amazing. You're so amazing. You did all that work already.

Stephanie Theriault (56:51)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Yeah.

Agata (57:09)
You absolutely can do it and it's very intense process. It's unexpected process as you just heard. But you absolutely can do it. Just hear other women, feel empowered by those stories and just good luck, honestly. Good luck to everyone. Yeah, thank you so much for having me here.

Stephanie Theriault (57:19)
Right.

I love it.

thank you. I appreciate you're very welcome. And maybe we'll chat again soon sometime. With baby number two. Okay. All right, enjoy your Sunday and thank you again. Thank you. Take care.

Agata (57:44)
Maybe we'll see. I'll come back here in two years.

Thank you, Steph, and you have a great day. Bye.