Maternal Wealth Podcast - Own Your Birth
The Maternal Wealth Podcast creates a collective space for sharing all birth-related stories. I want to acknowledge birth's uniqueness, honor its variations, and remind us of the power we hold in giving birth.
As a Labor and Delivery Nurse, I see the impact of our stories. Let's share those stories with those who come after us to prepare them for what's to come. For those who came before us, allowing them to reminisce and heal as we realize we were not alone in our experiences.
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Maternal Wealth Podcast - Own Your Birth
Emily Ouellet's Journey Through Infertility, Twin Pregnancy, and Empowering Maternal Health Choices
EmilyOuellet's story is one of resilience, perseverance, and the transformative power of support. Join us as we explore her inspiring journey, from the early days of dreaming about a family with her husband to confronting the challenges of infertility, particularly during the uncertainties of the COVID pandemic. Emily, a licensed mental health counselor, candidly shares the emotional and physical toll of fertility treatments, including the decision to pursue IVF and the rollercoaster of emotions that followed. Her journey takes an uplifting turn with the joy of expecting twins, emphasizing the crucial support system of loved ones and the importance of being open about her struggles.
Emily's narrative continues as she navigates the complex world of postpartum recovery. She sheds light on the critical decisions surrounding her twin pregnancy, including opting for a C-section and dealing with post-op complications. Emily's experience highlights the importance of self-advocacy in healthcare and the strength found in trusting one's intuition, particularly when faced with the unexpected. Her insights on postpartum anxiety, the delicate balance of returning to work, and the ongoing journey of raising twins offer invaluable lessons on resilience and the importance of a strong support network.
Music Credit
https://uppbeat.io/t/sky-toes/autumn-walks
https://uppbeat.io/t/the-lakes/bluebird
https://uppbeat.io/t/the-lakes/ember
https://uppbeat.io/t/kite-flight/here-comes-hope
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Welcome to the Maternal Wealth Podcast, a space for all things related to maternal health, pregnancy, birth and beyond. I'm your host, stephanie Theriault. I'm a labor and delivery nurse and a mother to three beautiful boys. Each week, we dive into inspiring stories and expert insights to remind us of the power that you hold in childbirth and motherhood. We are here to explore the joys, the challenges and the complexities of maternal health. Every mother's journey is unique and every story deserves to be told.
Speaker 1:Please note that this podcast is for entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always consult with your healthcare provider for medical guidance tailored to your specific needs. Are you ready? Let's get into it. Welcome to the Maternal Wealth Podcast. Today we welcome Emily Aulet, a 37-year-old mother of two and a half-year-old twins who were conceived through IVF, a licensed mental health counselor and works as a school adjustment counselor at a local high school in Massachusetts. The journey to having her twins was long and arduous, as she and her husband discovered they were struggling to conceive just a few months before the onset of the COVID pandemic. Welcome to the podcast, emily.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me, I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 1:I'm happy to have you here. I would love to start off with a love story. If you would share with us how you and your husband met.
Speaker 2:We met met actually, it's your cousin's birthday. Okay, my best friend and your cousin, caitlin was dating my husband's best friend when they were in college. He got invited to her birthday as like a kind of Hail Mary from the friends, like he wasn't alone, and then we met and we just kind of hit it off as friends and my friend Caitlin just encouraged me that he was like a really good, sweet guy, like kind and caring and honest, and he proved to be that and so we kind of had that 2000s romance where it was a Facebook messenger romance to start and then it went to texting and then the rest is history. How long have you been together now? Eight years married and like 12 years, 13 years together total.
Speaker 1:So you two got married and then you decided to settle down and you wanted to have kids. Talk us through that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So we got married, I was 29. My husband had just turned 30 and I really was like excited to start a family, but we were renting at the time and my husband's just so practical. So he was like we got to own before we can have kids. Blah, blah, blah. Luckily it only took us like a year after getting married to buy, but then he was still a little hesitant once we moved in. So 31, 32. And then we started to try and I was having really inconsistent periods. I came off birth control and was getting a period anywhere from 28 to like 45 days. It was really strange and my OBGYN at that time wasn't super concerned. She just kind of was like, oh, it's fine, it's normal, Like you're probably just anxious, and I kind of was like, well, there's, you know. I know I have anxiety, but I don't think that my irregular cycles are anxiety based.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:So after several months of trying and feeling like, you know, these cycles weren't normal, like things weren't lining up, I reached out to a fertility clinic and we had an initial consult. I think that happened in December 2019. And we started with the testing, which ended up being really overwhelming. The labs were fine, but one of the first exams when they try to see if there's any blockages in your fallopian tubes that procedure for me was really painful, to the point where I nearly passed out on the table. It just was excruciating for me, which should have alerted us that there was something up with my cervix. So then I ended up going to another clinic. We got the ball rolling and then the pandemic started and so we kind of had to pause on treatments and we were just doing Clomid cycles to try to get pregnant, so taking Clomid to induce ovulation and timed intercourse, hoping to get pregnant. I think we did about three cycles of that and then we were like, yeah, this isn't working. So then we started down the road of IBF.
Speaker 1:I want to circle back to the exam that they performed to see if there was any blockage in the fallopian tubes. You mentioned that was super painful. Did they give you any medication to help with the pain prior to the exam? Can you kind of just talk us through what the exam is like and kind of pain management, because that seems really intense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it was. So I was informed that it could be a little painful. They said to take ibuprofen, like, I think, 30 to 60 minutes prior to the exam. It was actually done on an x-ray table because once they put the dye in your uterus and it goes through your fallopian tubes, they're monitoring it via x-ray. So not a super comfortable slab to be lying on, not even a bed, and my doctor just kept trying to get the catheter through my cervix and I was nauseous, I was in pain, I was crying and she was incredibly empathetic, but there was definitely no warning that it could have been this painful. She, I think, made three attempts before calling it because I was just in so much pain and she could not get that catheter through my cervix.
Speaker 1:Were they able to get results from the exam? Or they called it.
Speaker 2:They called it, and so I ended up having I want to say, you know, like motherhood my memory is so foggy we might've done this twice and I feel like there was one of the versions of it they gave me something to help soften the cervix or help like open the cervix a little bit or dilate, I should say, but ended up having to do this procedure with the fertility clinic because they just are more skilled at it and my OBGYN just did not want to do no harm. She did not want to make this any worse for me than it already had been.
Speaker 1:When they did the procedure with the fertility clinic. How did that go?
Speaker 2:It was painful but it was manageable. I think I ended up bringing my mom that day because my husband was busy and I knew I needed a support person. So my mom kind of came in and the provider that did it was so kind and took her time and helped me breathe through it and just I think it's different when this is your specialty and she was able to help me get through that and we were able to confirm that fallopian tubes were not an issue no blockages there.
Speaker 1:In the fertility clinic. What kind of bed were you on?
Speaker 2:It was more of an exam table, like at a typical OBGYN office.
Speaker 1:Okay, so not an x-ray slab table. Yeah, ivf treatment in COVID. How did that look for you?
Speaker 2:It was a really lonely experience. My husband was in the car for almost every bit of it. I was going in for lab work with a mask on going in for procedures alone. We did three rounds of retrievals with our first clinic. The first retrieval resulted in one viable embryo. And then I had a similar experience, actually when they transferred that first embryo. It was just on an exam table and again the catheter going through my cervix was very, very painful and I had a male physician for that procedure and I just felt like very invalidated by him and my pain. He kind of just was like you got this, this is normal, and it did not feel normal. So not only was I in a lot of pain and alone, but that transfer did not end up working. So it was really hard. It was really emotionally heavy and lonely.
Speaker 1:I can't even imagine going through this and then not being able to have at least one support person with you by your side during this experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there were a lot of hard moments and that first transfer that didn't work resulted in needing a DNC because my beta HCG hit a number that was like sub, like we knew it wasn't a viable pregnancy, it was a chemical pregnancy but unfortunately, like the number kept rising, so they had to perform a DNC to make sure that there was no tissue hanging on, to make sure that I could continue on the process of trying to get pregnant. And that was also a really sad moment where I was in there by myself getting ready to go to a DNC and I was know I was like getting tearful and emotional and the nurses were really kind with me and I'm like, should I be upset right now, like is this just a procedure or is this more than that? And so you know that was just so sad.
Speaker 1:For the DNC? Did they prepare you about what the procedure was going to look like and how it was going to be?
Speaker 2:about what the procedure was going to look like and how it was going to be. Yes, I definitely felt like by the time I was with the fertility clinic aside from that transfer with the male physician, there was a lot of prep and the nurses were wonderful and they all gave me a lot of information leading to and the anesthesiologists were also really wonderful. I felt like in good hands but I think just mentally, the weight of knowing that it was a DNC was heavy.
Speaker 1:Was the DNC performed at the clinic or at the hospital? At the clinic, then the first one, it didn't take. What was your plan after that?
Speaker 2:I was pretty determined and so we then did another retrieval as soon as we could. Once my beta HCG was down to zero, which did take some time, we did a different protocol for IVF. That second retrieval I went in I think that one was right around Thanksgiving and no embryos. We did not have a single viable embryo. So all of those meds and all of that prep and they retrieved no embryos and that was devastating. And then we did a third cycle with that clinic and the doctor kind of went back to the same protocol from round one and we were trying to trust the process and her expertise.
Speaker 2:But the first cycle only got us one embryo. The second zero, but one embryo at my age, without no reason to think I had diminished ovarian reserve or anything like that. That's not a great outcome. Usually with IVF you expect a few viable embryos from a retrieval. So we were a little bit reluctant but trust the process. But then again we only got one embryo from that retrieval. And that retrieval because my progesterone spiked afterwards. We weren't. Insurance makes you do a fresh transfer if you're not planning to test the embryos unless something medically complicates it. And we didn't have the finances to test our embryos, especially when we were only getting one at a time. So we were going to do a fresh transfer. But then, when my progesterone spiked, we had to hit the pause button, freeze that embryo to get my body in the better spot for a transfer. And that's when my husband and I were like we are going to switch clinics, we're just repeating the same thing and expecting different results, and this is heartbreaking and exhausting.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So that was when we switched to Brigham and Women's, which is one of the kind of leading hospitals in Boston and we had friends that had done IVF there and we felt like their experience sounded much more hopeful and positive.
Speaker 2:It's a teaching hospital, so there's a lot more eyes on complicated cases, which mine was starting to become a complicated case because, despite having no reason for it, I wasn't producing mature eggs at these egg retrievals. We did two more retrievals with them. I think we ended up total with seven embryos. We did a fresh transfer after the first retrieval with two embryos because at that point the data and the statistics said like okay, time to increase our odds here when we transfer because she's not having success. Retrieval with two embryos because at that point the data and the statistics said like okay, time to increase our odds here when we transfer because she's not having success. That transfer failed. We did another retrieval, got embryos, froze them and then our final transfer was a frozen transfer and I did it under anesthesia so there was no pain, and that's when we got pregnant with our twins.
Speaker 1:Amazing. When you were doing the transfers at Brigham and Women's, were you able to bring a support person.
Speaker 2:I was able to bring a support person. Well, women's, were you able to bring a support person? I was able to bring a support person. Well, joel came in. My husband came in for the beginning part. He didn't stay in the room with me because I was under anesthesia, but he was there in pre-op. But then when I woke up he was not there. He was in the car waiting for me to be cleared by the nurses. That was not as bad as the other clinic, but that was still hard. You want your person to be there when you wake up.
Speaker 2:You want that reassurance and I think even when the doctor informed me we were doing a double embryo transfer, I think at that point Joel had already been sent out to the car in the parking garage. So I had to then share that news with him over the phone, which was a little bit jarring for him to digest sitting in a car.
Speaker 1:but it worked out. Talk me a little bit through the process. So they do the double embryo transfer and then what do you do? Do you wait a little while? How does that work?
Speaker 2:Yes. So I think it was at least two weeks of waiting. And then I went in for blood work, for that test came back obviously positive. 48 hours later it went back for another one to make sure that my levels were rising appropriately. They had quadrupled. So then, you know, the little voice in the back of my head was like you might be having twins. But I've also heard that, like, HCG levels can just jump up at these wild intervals and not mean anything. And then I think there was three of those blood tests and then we had to wait for an ultrasound, and so Joel was there with me for the ultrasound the whole time. So we went in, laid on that table and she put the ultrasound just externally. At that point it was going to be an internal one, but they started externally and already we saw those two heartbeats like they were right there and it was very clear that we were having twins from that moment on.
Speaker 1:What was the first thought that you had when you saw two it?
Speaker 2:was a mix of joy and panic. I was like, uh-oh, were we too risky in transferring two embryos? Was that crazy of us? But like, oh my gosh, we get to have two babies. I felt really lucky.
Speaker 1:How about Joel? How about your husband?
Speaker 2:I think the panic was a little bit more than the joy. But there was joy. We were both crying. The tech left the room for a second because then she needed to let the lead radiologist know that she would be performing an ultrasound for twins. I think she just needed to run things by the doctor before she continued. It was kind of nice because we had like a moment where we were just like soaking it in. I mean, we were scared but just so thrilled.
Speaker 1:How long did you wait to tell family and friends?
Speaker 2:We told a lot of our close family and friends right away with the blood test that we were pregnant. Because this process I was very transparent about it. I talked on social media about it and that's how I coped. The people close to us knew that we had a positive blood test and that we were pregnant. But I looked at Joel on the ride home and I said let's save the twin surprise for Christmas. And he was like yeah. And I was like yeah, I think I want to surprise our parents and grandparents with that. So that's what we did. We waited until Christmas time to surprise our family and friends that we were having twins.
Speaker 1:Did you tell them verbally or did you do a little gift? How did you let them know?
Speaker 2:So we had our parents together for a little pre-Christmas gathering and we gave them an ornament and a picture of the ultrasound and the ornament said let twins coming, july 2022. It's funny because my mother-in-law is a nurse, so we assumed she would be the first one to pick up on it, but I think it ended up being my dad. That was like wait a second, they didn't read the ornament well enough and they didn't really look at the ultrasound. But my dad was like wait a second. They didn't read the ornament well enough and they didn't really look at the ultrasound. But my dad was like wait a second. And then everybody realized it.
Speaker 2:And then on Christmas, joel's grandmother I think it was 2021. So we were still a little bit in kind of some COVID times and so we weren't physically with Joel's grandmother. So we FaceTimed her on Christmas and we'd had someone have a gift for her with the ultrasound picture and she's really important to us. She's just the matriarch of his family and she is a retired labor and delivery nurse herself. So she's been just a huge support and advocate. So telling her, and she lost her husband in the year before that, so it was a really special moment to tell her.
Speaker 1:Do you know where she worked as a labor and delivery nurse?
Speaker 2:Holy Family Hospital up in Florence.
Speaker 1:That's so sweet. I'm sure that was so special for her and for everybody.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, not to fast forward, but when she came to visit me at the hospital after we had the twins, she came over and she was like putting lotion all over me and like taking care of me, like you could tell that she was such a good nurse back in the day. And you know, it's like when you have your baby and people come to visit, they're like, oh, my God, the baby. Like people always remember that the mom has just experienced birth. But she took such good care of me the day she came to visit and I was like, oh, you're an angel, so sweet.
Speaker 1:I'm just picturing this elderly woman putting lotion on you after you had a baby in the hospital. That's so sweet. Oh my gosh, that's so special. It is. Yeah, we feel really lucky. How was your pregnancy with twins? I know you've only been pregnant with twins, but how did that go for you?
Speaker 2:One pregnancy, two babies. Honestly, I feel pretty lucky. I really had a decent pregnancy, considering I was carrying twins. The only day I got morning sickness was actually the day after the transfer and I think that was like the anesthesia giving me a migraine. I had nausea and heartburn every day, but I never had morning sickness every day. But I never had morning sickness. I stayed active for the first maybe half of the pregnancy and then it definitely slowed me down.
Speaker 2:The hardest thing about my pregnancy I got gestational diabetes diagnosed around 28 weeks. That was just obviously mentally challenging, more than anything because I was managing it with diet which, luckily again, I didn't need insulin, so that was great. But I definitely had to really change the way I was managing it with diet, which luckily again, I didn't need insulin, so that was great. But I definitely had to really change the way I was eating, or at least be really cognizant of the way I was eating. I made it to 38 weeks, which was the goal. But my last month of pregnancy I got put on leave from work. I had an about of hypertension when I went to one of my visits and my doctor was like okay, we're done now, we're done working, which was actually such a blessing. I was pretty ready to be done with work at that point.
Speaker 1:While you're pregnant, did you continue on with the OB that you had prior, or did you go with a new OB?
Speaker 2:So it was interesting. I actually I was starting off with a new OB within the clinic just because I met her for one of my first visits and I liked her. She was really bubbly and nice. As things progressed timelines and different reasons I ended up actually back with my OB from prior to IVF and it was actually a really healing experience because I got to see her and say, I know, the last time that we interacted was this really awful procedure, but I don't hold any hard feelings. I am still very grateful for you. So she ended up being the one that delivered my twins and in hindsight it was a really good decision because the birth was a little bit complicated and she was just like really good hands to be in. She was a very kind of like bright, cerebral, like to the point doctor and I think that's what I needed when things got a little scary.
Speaker 1:When it came time to deliver, when were you planning on having a vaginal delivery or were you planning on having a C-section?
Speaker 2:I decided about halfway through my pregnancy I wanted to do a C-section. My twins were oriented transverse, kind of like in bunk beds, and so my son was almost until the day we went to have our C-section he was never head down, and then my daughter just kind of like hung out cozy up top, like transverse, and with the cervical issues I had actually I missed this piece I did end up having a surgery on my cervix during IVF to get rid of a ridge that was in my cervix. So there was something that was complicating all that and I just was so fearful that that was going to make birth hard and I didn't want to get in the headspace that I was going to have a vaginal birth only to then need a C-section. I just wanted them to get here safely for all of us.
Speaker 1:I think it's so important what you're saying, to honor and recognize our intuition when it comes to our bodies and that we know, like we just know, and to recognize it and honor it and proceed in a way that's safe for us, especially during pregnancy. Even with my patients, I always tell them, like you know your body, you know your baby more than anyone, right, we're here to guide you. So it's great that you listen to that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was interesting. I've talked to other moms about this and it was like at what point I thought my doctor was going to suggest a C-section and it was kind of like I brought it up first and then she totally validated and agreed with my decision but I didn't really know how that would go. I think that's one of those misconceptions about going into motherhood, especially with multiples you assume that you're going to be told you need a C-section and it's going to be scheduled because of X factors, of X factors, and they were waiting on me. At that point it was still early, so they were kind of I got to make the call because it was so early, but I was glad I did it and it was. She supported my decision the rest of the way through. It was a huge weight off my shoulders once I decided we're having a C-section and we have a date scheduled, although I never thought I would make it to 38 weeks. That was wild.
Speaker 1:So did you plan for a C-section for 38 weeks? Yes For your surgery. Did they schedule in the morning, in the afternoon? Yes, for your surgery. Did they schedule in the?
Speaker 2:morning, in the afternoon, in the morning, but I think I got there and were waiting for a little while because there was another complicated case that day, so we got pushed back. I think I was maybe like the nine or 10 o'clock and I didn't get into the OR till like the 11 o'clock time.
Speaker 1:This happens all the time.
Speaker 1:So I always try and tell people. If you're going to have a scheduled procedure, try and do it as early as you can, because you never know what's going on, and sometimes I'll have patients coming in for a scheduled section at one in the afternoon and they're not getting done until five o'clock and you're not supposed to eat until midnight before and then you're all day and it's just a whole thing. Yeah, so you were scheduled for around nine. You went in around 11. How was the pre-op when you go into the OR what that was like for you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we got set up in a room. They did that final ultrasound in the pre-op room before, just to check the orientation of the babies, and that was, of course, the moment where my son was finally head down.
Speaker 1:Of course.
Speaker 2:Quick moment of being like oh, but I was set with my decisions. I remember they got me set up with an IV and kind of talked me through stuff. My husband got ready in his little bunny suit. Then I believe they walk you down. You would know better. I think I walked down to the OR by myself because they want to do the epidural yes, before your partner is there so went in. I actually surprised myself that I handled getting the epidural placed pretty well. I thought I was going to just be so uncomfortable and so scared. That was fine. And then my husband came to join me.
Speaker 2:I did say to the anesthesiologist I definitely have some anxiety about obviously having a C-section being awake while I'm being cut open. I know my brain and I'm going to go into a place of like ah, like I know what's happening to my body right now. But I didn't want to be sedated, I just was like I know I have a pretty strong like vasovagal response in these moments. So the anesthesiologist was so awesome. He was like very chill and relaxed and he was like, okay, I got you, like don't worry. And then during the start of the section I did get a little like nausea and he quickly just put something in and he's like you feeling better now, and it's like, oh, I am, and he's like, yep. So he was really chill, he was really good. I had a regular drape. I did not have a clear plastic drape. Because of that like kind of anxiety and like squeamishness. I just remember like hearing that first cry and then, you know, my husband went over to the what is it called? The care team.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the neonatal care team, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So he went over to the table with them and saw our son and cut the cord and then after the fact I found out that the resident with my doctor was the one pulling the babies out of me. She came into our room and said I'll never forget you guys. You were my first twin delivery and I was so excited for you guys and being a part of this that Dr Sherman, my doctor, had to call her back over and say you have another baby to pull out, although they were only 37 seconds apart, so it wasn't crazy. But she was just so caught up in the joy of the whole thing so they both came out healthy, awesome, they were perfect.
Speaker 2:And I remember that anesthesiologist he was a very chill guy, kind of like bro-ish, and he was like those are really beautiful babies, he's like, and, trust me, I would not comment if they weren't cute.
Speaker 2:So, very matter of fact, they went down to the room that we were in pre-op with my husband while I got stitched up, and I managed that well. But a little while after I got to the room that we were in pre-op with my husband while I got stitched up, and I managed that well, but a little while after I got to the room I was having some pretty heavy Well, it was during the section and then, when I got back to the room, pretty significant bleeding and then I had some nausea vomiting which was really rough. So I was a little bit stressful for the first few hours after they were born because I was, I lost a lot of blood and I was also vomiting and you know we were. Is she going to get a blood transfusion or like kind of just like touch and go, a little bit of what we were going to do for a few hours?
Speaker 1:Did you end up needing a transfusion?
Speaker 2:They ended up deciding not to do the transfusion. I finally stabilized and they decided that we were going to do a couple iron transfusions during my stay. Okay, which is like obviously the slower road to feeling better when you've lost that much blood. But I've heard different things about having a blood transfusion, so I feel like it ended up being the right thing and my doctor stayed on through that time. She stayed and made sure I was stable to go up to the floor.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you stayed on labor in the recovery for a while. As you recovered, then you went to postpartum.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the twins were healthy. They were wonderful. I was a little sad because my first attempt at breastfeeding that's when my first bout of nausea and vomiting happened. So I was just latching my son and figuring it out and then I was like I'm going to be sick. So I quickly had to hand him to a nurse. So the first 24 hours was tough because I was just so depleted and really wanted to breastfeed but also was in a lot of discomfort and really weak and nauseous and just struggling.
Speaker 1:I think at the hospital that you delivered at they have a nursery. Did you utilize the nursery while you were there to get some rest, to recover?
Speaker 2:Yes, I definitely utilized the nursery. They were very supportive of us doing that and it's funny similar to the question question about, like C-section versus vaginal birth I think the second night we were there when we decided to utilize the nursery, it was awesome the overnight nurse came in and she was like, all right, like we keep it real here, like you have a few days with us and then you're off on your own. Like you need to use us to the most you possibly can, so how can we give you rest and take care of you before you go home and you don't have us anymore? And we were like, well, like really tired, like it's I was having, like I had an air bubble that was in my back from the section Like that's where it was like settled.
Speaker 2:So when I would sit up to try to breastfeed and I had to feed two babies, the sharp pain of that air bubble was making me nauseous and so I was feeling like it was hard to learn to breastfeed while I was in so much pain and my husband was just like, are we able to talk about formula? And the overnight nurse was like, yep, she was like I'm so glad you brought it up. You came in here saying that you wanted to breastfeed. So we can't introduce formula unless there's a medical necessity. But now that you've asked, ask and you shall receive. So the babies went to the nursery for a few hours overnight and they got formula and I could rest, and that was huge every night.
Speaker 1:I love hearing that because I've worked in hospitals where we don't have a nursery and I think it's so imperative for not for everybody, but families who need it, who need the time for the first couple of nights for moms to recover, and it's so important in promoting a healthy recovery physically, mentally, spiritually to have that nursery, to have that option.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had friends that were very strongly encouraging me to remember to use it. When I got there they were like, before you go to have your babies, there's no shame in using the nursery and you really should. And so we went in with that support from different people in our lives. But there was no way I could have recovered without that. I can't imagine I was so physically depleted in so many ways.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and also thinking you have a partner. You had your husband and he is emotionally, physically exhausted also because he's a new father. Watching you, his wife, go through everything it's exhausting. So I'm very pro having a nursery.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can't imagine not having that at all. And because I was so sick, the first 24 hours he was swaddling diaper change. He was doing it all for the two babies when the nurses weren't doing it. Because I couldn't stand, I didn't stand up until the second day I was there, which I know isn't the norm after a C-section.
Speaker 1:How long did you end up staying in the hospital before you were discharged?
Speaker 2:Well, this is another interesting curveball of the story. So we were supposed to stay five days in typical recovery and that was normal. The babies were great, they were passing every test that they had and they didn't have any complications, thank God. But I ended up getting, halfway through our stay, a GI bug, and so I then was even more sick on a different level. So just as my appetite was coming back post-nausea and anesthesia, I then got a GI bug. So we ended up being there for six days for my recovery. Even the pediatricians that were circling it was just as much his recommendation as it was the OBGYN overseeing my care. So we were there for six days when I got that bug.
Speaker 2:That's when I started pumping, because I just between like that pain in my back and like the nausea and everything I just I knew I couldn't sit with both of them on, like learning how to breastfeed while I was so sick. But I wanted to make sure I was getting my supply to come in. So I started pumping during that time and then we kind of my husband and I were like you know, maybe. Well, I decided, of course, but he was supportive Like maybe I'll be an exclusive pumper and I will just pump, divide what I get and supplement the rest. And we felt really good about that as like our game plan, so that we felt like we were still giving them breast milk but there wasn't fully on me to feed both babies every feed, that illness and that curveball like set a different part of, like our postpartum journey, that I was going to be a pumper.
Speaker 1:How was the transition home Transition?
Speaker 2:home was really nice. We literally drove home and this is a funny thing. So we have a dog and he was our baby during COVID and infertility and as we were leaving the hospital our dog, walker, merged into traffic right behind us. So we drove home and were immediately greeted by our dog who had been being brought home like the typical, like bringing home cloths and different things from the babies. So we got to introduce our dog to our babies like with our dog Walker, a safe person to him, and it was a really beautiful homecoming.
Speaker 2:And my mom also met us at home to help get in the house and stuff. But it was a really beautiful homecoming and my mom also met us at home to help get in the house and stuff. But it was definitely really nice to get home and into our own environment. But our house you have to walk upstairs to get to the main level. So once I got to the main level it was like, okay, this is where you'll be. So I was between the couch and then a bed in the guest room for the first two weeks and we just were just feeding babies and just keeping them going for two weeks.
Speaker 1:How was the physical recovery after having a C-section?
Speaker 2:I would say I had a middle of the road experience. Like I said, I think I didn't get up as soon as I wish I had because of that blood loss and that you know nausea and vomiting so I think my recovery was a little slow and they were born in June and so the heat of the summer I ended up getting an infection on my incision just because of like the heat and the sweat and just like all of this stuff. So that was a little hard. But after a little while things it got better. It wasn't horrible and we definitely, as soon as we could, took walks around the neighborhood and I moved. That post-op infection was just a little bit like oh, what the hell? Like after all the things that had happened, and I was so overtired when it happened too. Right when I got that infection I also got my first round of mastitis. So I was just so sad and grumpy.
Speaker 1:Everything was just thrown at you. Yeah, it was wild. If we have any listeners who are just finding out they're having fertility issues and they're not getting pregnant, what advice would you have for them?
Speaker 2:I think that you need to really be a big advocate for yourself. I think you need to ask for your OBGYN to do day three labs, which are those initial fertility workup labs that show where you're, at least on paper, what your, your fertility looks like. I definitely a big part of my fertility journey was advocating with doctors, with nurses, with insurance companies, just like pushing for again, just like you know your body and your baby when you're pregnant, when you're trying to get pregnant and something seems off like trust, that intuition, trust your gut. And unfortunately, our health system in the United States is dictated more by insurance than it is by patient care. So you're going to have to fight for what you need and that's okay. No guilt, no shame. You know yourself.
Speaker 1:Looking back at your whole experience, from the beginning to where you are now. What are you most proud of in yourself going through that experience?
Speaker 2:I think that I really fought for these babies to be here. I knew I wanted to be a mother. I managed my way through my husband's uncertainty and I fought so hard for these babies to be here and be healthy. Before the gestational diabetes diagnosis, I was reading a book about being pregnant with multiples and it really was like nourishing your body and getting enough fuel to carry healthy babies, and I gained the weight that it was healthy for me to gain to carry twins. I did everything in my power to bring healthy babies into this world and I'm so, so proud of that.
Speaker 1:How are Jacob and Lucy doing now? They?
Speaker 2:are hilarious. They're two and a half and they are very talkative and very opinionated. They're thriving. They're you know. They have their moments with each other and with us. But they are very typical two and a half year olds and they're really sweet. They have a great little brother-sister relationship. We're in the process of debating whether or not, in the fall when they're three, do we do two years of preschool or one. I think they could go either way, so we're just trying to decide about that. But they're awesome.
Speaker 1:Is there anything else that you would like to leave with us before we end the episode?
Speaker 2:I think something that I experienced postpartum was definitely postpartum anxiety, which shouldn't have surprised me, because I have anxiety leading into this. That's just kind of my makeup. But I definitely think it presented itself a little delayed closer to me going back to work and I talked to a lot of my coworkers and moms that I know about normalizing that postpartum anxiety and that it doesn't necessarily have a set timeline and I really struggled with some really intrusive thoughts and fears about them when they were with another care provider once I was not their primary care provider and as a mental health counselor myself, I definitely minimized my own experience for a long time. Getting a therapist on board as soon as you can, either when you're pregnant or like lined up for postpartum, is so helpful because in your own mind when you're overtired and struggling like you don't, you can't weave your way through these thoughts and these fears. So having a provider and a support network is so important. It's absolutely vital.
Speaker 1:Speaking of therapists postpartum, there's a lot of therapists now who you would know more than I, but they specifically are trained and specialized in perinatal mental health.
Speaker 2:I think when I went through my IVF experience I thought about there being a point in my career where I did some private practice work within infertility and perinatal and things like that. It really is a specialty In my journey. I actually have a therapist that I started with a year ago but in my journey to get with her I saw a therapist that and no shade to this woman but perinatal was not her specialty and I just did not click because the experience that I was having you need to have someone who understands that process and the different things that can come up. So we have a lot of access to providers now with telehealth and there's a lot of different ways you can search either through your insurance company or a website like Psychology Today. You can narrow things down and click by perinatal female therapist in your area. You can really find that right person.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I think that's really important to highlight the perinatal mental health specialty because, like you said, it's a unique experience that someone who's going through it needs the specialized care. Yeah absolutely All right. Well, thank you so much for taking the time and sitting down and chatting and opening up about your experiences. Thank you.
Speaker 2:I'm so grateful that you're doing this for other moms and women. It's such a need for us as women to lift each other up and share everything we know with one another. Maternal Wealth is the absolute perfect name for this.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much. At Maternal Wealth, we aim to ensure that you have access to the best and the most appropriate care. That's why we created a maternal healthcare provider database. Maternal health providers can easily create profiles to promote their services and business, helping to increase access for those seeking their care. This is a one-of-a-kind database that offers a new and exciting way for women to search for and find maternal health providers near them and tailored to their specific needs. Profiles feature badges that highlight various services, such as tollback-friendly practices, all-female practices, lgbtqai plus inclusivity, language options, access to vaginal breach services and more. Additionally, be sure to check out our not your average birth course. In this course, I discuss the variations that exist in hospital practices based on policies, staffing and budgets, all of which can directly affect your birth experience and outcome. Please follow us on our social media platforms, at maternal underscore wealth on Instagram and maternal wealth on Facebook. Stay strong, stay empowered and remember you got this.