Maternal Wealth Podcast - Own Your Birth
The Maternal Wealth Podcast creates a collective space for sharing all birth-related stories. I want to acknowledge birth's uniqueness, honor its variations, and remind us of the power we hold in giving birth.
As a Labor and Delivery Nurse, I see the impact of our stories. Let's share those stories with those who come after us to prepare them for what's to come. For those who came before us, allowing them to reminisce and heal as we realize we were not alone in our experiences.
Maternal Wealth is currently streaming in twenty-five countries: New Zealand, Australia, Slovakia, Canada, Finland, South Africa, Belgium, the United Kingdom, Rwanda, Poland, India, Sweden, Germany, Puerto Rico, China, Italy, Denmark, Brazil, Indonesia, Vietnam, Spain, Greenland, Cyprus, Tanzania and the United States.
Maternal Wealth Podcast - Own Your Birth
From Conscious Conception to Sovereign Motherhood : An Enlightening Conversation with Midwife Audrey
"Can you feel the shift? Women, mothers, and birthing people everywhere are eager for change, ready to take their power back, walk in their sovereignty, and become the wise women they were called to be," says Midwife Audrey. This powerful conversation with Midwife Audrey launches a four-part series that aims to return discussions about pregnancy, birth, and motherhood to our mainstream cultural conversations.
Born and raised in Florida, Midwife Audrey brings over a decade of clinical experience and her personal journey as a mother to this enlightening discussion. After experiencing her own birth challenges when her son William was born prematurely via cesarean, she dedicated herself to understanding structural racism in healthcare and improving birth outcomes for all families, especially those in the BIPOC community. Her journey led her to become Florida's first Black president of the Midwives Association and to launch the Mother Midwife Movement.
Together, we explore the concept of "conscious procreation" - approaching pregnancy with intention rather than allowing it to simply happen to you. Like the difference between a wild, accidental garden and one carefully planted with each element positioned to thrive, conscious procreation creates a foundation for empowered motherhood. We discuss the importance of building your village before you need it, understanding your genetic blueprint, and having crucial conversations with your partner about parenting philosophies before the baby arrives.
Perhaps most profound is our discussion about envisioning how you want to mother - creating a North Star to guide you through parenthood's challenges. Rather than focusing solely on material preparations, we encourage women to consider what kind of mother they want to be emotionally and spiritually. This vision becomes a touchstone to return to when parenting gets tough.
Join us for this transformative conversation about reclaiming maternal wisdom and sovereignty. The future of humanity may depend on our ability to transform motherhood from something women merely survive into an experience in which they consciously thrive.
Audrey is a midwife and cofounder of Love Corps and Real-Life Superheroes, a global platform that is a band, transformational speakers and humanitarians. To learn more about her work check out her Linktree: https://linktr.ee/real.life.superheroes, website: www.thelovecorps.net, or contact her at midwifeaudreywellness@gmail.com.
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Welcome to the Maternal Wealth Podcast, a space for all things related to maternal health, pregnancy and beyond. I'm your host, stephanie Terrio. I'm a labor and delivery nurse and a mother to three beautiful boys. Each week, we dive into inspiring stories and expert insights to remind us of the power that you hold in childbirth and motherhood. We're here to explore the joys, the challenges and the complexities of maternal health. Every mother's journey is unique and every story deserves to be told. Please note that this podcast is for entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always consult with your healthcare provider for medical guidance that is tailored to your specific needs. Are you ready? Let's get into it. Today we're going to switch it up a little bit.
Speaker 1:I'm going to bring you back to 2024, when I reached out to a midwife in Florida named Midwife Audrey. I shared with her the mission of this podcast and she was immediately interested in joining. Over the months we had conversations talking about how can we return the conversation of what? Pregnancy, conception, motherhood, birth, matri-science all of these things in the mainstream culture in this country don't really get into really before we have children. She came up with a four-part series. She goes into depth and almost poetic symmetry about these enlightening concepts that we need to get back into our mainstream conversations with our sisters, with our friends, with our children, with our grandparents, about understanding the transcendence of our lives, of the lives of women from childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, motherhood and beyond. Before we get into the first series, I want to introduce midwife Audrey. She was born and raised in Florida and since the age of four she knew she wanted to work with pregnant people and babies as a first-generation American through education. Innovation, persistence and resilience were concepts instilled in her by her Haitian parents. In 2009, midwife Audrey graduated from Florida State University, majoring in biology and women's studies, with a minor in chemistry and psychology. In 2012, she became a mother with the birth of her son, william. He was born at 33 weeks prematurely due to preterm labor via cesarean section.
Speaker 1:Despite her good health, education, access to resources in America, audrey's birth experience was evidenced by social determinants that she was not able to escape. Her personal experience catalyzed her curiosity and her need to better understand structural and systemic racism in America and how it affects public health and reproductive disparities by birthing people, especially in the BIPOC community, so she can create positive social change. In 2013, midwife Audrey graduated from the Florida School of Traditional Midwifery and has had the privilege of supporting, educating and empowering hundreds of families in Florida at home and birth centers. She's practiced midwifery independently and in group settings across the state and found that it is not sustainable. Those experiences ignited a drive in her to help improve the workforce of out-of-hospital midwives to help improve the workforce of out-of-hospital midwives, increase the number of BIPOC birth providers and decrease barriers of access to midwifery care in Florida families. So in 2019, she decided to run for presidency of the Midwives Association in Florida and she won, becoming Florida's first Black president. In her experience, she gained leadership skills, legislative experience with policy and bill writing.
Speaker 1:In early 2020, audrey went on her first midwifery mission trip to Cap-Aisien, haiti, to give back to her dad's hometown. Haiti has the highest maternal morbidity and mortality in the Western Hemisphere maternal morbidity and mortality in the Western Hemisphere and she saw firsthand invaluable role that community midwives play in providing for families education, support and healthcare. As a mother and a midwife with over 10 years of clinical experience, midwife Audrey has gained essential knowledge of critical components affecting maternal health and wellness knowledge of critical components affecting maternal health and wellness, healthcare systems and our global wellness at large. She is passionate about improving birth equity and its positive global impacts through increased access to community wellness by empowering community midwives. One of Midwife Audrey's personal causes is to the Mother Midwife Movement, a cultural awareness campaign aimed to achieve family, community and global wellness by centering and empowering mothers and midwives through arts, storytelling, leadership, research, education, advocacy and activism in midwifery. Her mission is to be a mother and a midwife in a new world where tomorrow is a beautiful place for everyone, regardless of where they were born or where they live, because the quality of every life matters.
Speaker 1:When midwife Audrey and I were going back and forth about what topics we should cover, this is what she wrote to me Can you feel the shift? Women, mothers and birthing people are eager for change and ready to take their power back, ready to walk in their sovereignty, ready to become the wise woman they were called to be. Yes, can you feel it? I feel it every single day, I feel it at work, I feel it at home, I feel it in the community. We women are ready to take our power back. We women are ready to walk in sovereignty together. I'm excited for this series. I'm excited for her words, to speak to you, to empower you so that together we rise up and move forward and take our power back. All of us, we welcome you and we hope you join us for this four-part series, a powerful, enlightening conversation that will arm you with the knowledge of your options about conscious procreation, birth empowerment and family wellness, with myself and midwife Audrey. Welcome, audrey.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Thank you so much, Stephanie, for having me on your podcast.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for being here. I'm excited for this four-part series. I'm excited to get into conversation with you. I think this is such a great opportunity for us women birthing people to take a seat and just listen and re-envision what it means to be a woman, what it means to get into the path of having children, the transition into motherhood and beyond. I would love for you to take a moment and share with our listeners more about who you are and why this message is so important for yourself.
Speaker 2:I am myself a mother.
Speaker 2:I have my son, william, who is now 12.
Speaker 2:Since I was young, I always knew that working in the field of motherhood and and working with other mothers was for me.
Speaker 2:However, the path as it's unfolded has been one that I either was taken by surprise or learned about.
Speaker 2:You know the experiences that I had after the fact, and so I see that it is that much more important, from a personal perspective and also from a societal, cultural perspective, for us all to be able to share our experiences and to share the best, latest evidence-based knowledge that's out there, so that we can, I guess you can say, say set humanity up for our best expressed selves as a mother myself and going through the experience of pregnancy and then trying to, you know, conceive another baby, and also from the clinical practice of being a midwife baby, and also from the clinical practice of being a midwife, there's so much information that I did not know until after the fact, and I find repeatedly that there's still a lot of information that many of the people that have served as their midwife and just people that I speak to on a day-to-day basis out on the street, there's just so much that's not known or understood about our bodies or about our options, or about or having the space to even share our experiences and stories and see ourselves reflected, and that tends to create a level of isolation and wondering is it just me, am I normal, am I weird?
Speaker 2:And these are just things that I feel like, in this day and age, doesn't have to be the case, which is why it's so incredible that, with the use of technology and being able to reach out and have conversations with people like you on your platform, that we can bridge that gap and create a resource for other people out there who are considering starting a family or who have already started their families, to be able to attain more information that helps truly empower us and helps to, in essence, allow us to be the best versions of ourselves. That then brings forth, you know, a greater capacity of humanity that is compassionate, loving and kind, which ultimately will just transform the world, in my opinion, which ultimately will just transform the world.
Speaker 1:In my opinion, going off of what you're saying, I agree with you 100%. I believe we all, everyone wants this right. We want to go into having a partner, creating a family, and procreate and contribute to the world, make a better place. And from my perspective as a labor and delivery nurse seeing my patients primarily I work in the hospital there's been this shift where the empowerment we give it to somebody else, for example, the birth provider, this conversation, what I'm trying to do is to bring that power back to you, to us, and make it more of a commonality. Yes, we need birth providers to help us and to care for us, but ultimately we hold the power. That journey should be made together as opposed to just handing our power over to somebody else.
Speaker 2:Absolutely 100% agree.
Speaker 1:You use this term conscious procreation. I love it. Could you share with me a little bit about what that means to you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that growing up and seeing people have babies, it was an accepted thought process like, oh, you get married and you have a baby, like that was the entirety of the idea of having more humans was just like. You know, we even have in that nursery rhyme song, so and so and so and so kissing in a tree. First come love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage, and so that's just a cultural like. One of the popularized cultural ideas is that you get married, you have a baby. We also have the other, where you are in a relationship, whether it's committed or not, and you can also still have a baby. But the idea of having a baby is something that's happening to you as opposed to one that you intentionally have put thought into it prior to, which has two completely different results, especially from a clinical perspective.
Speaker 2:As a midwife, I see the different potentialities of how pregnancy can develop, but I've also, you know, have looked at the evidence and the research about when people are, you know, established and they are well informed about their options and they go into conceiving with that place of empowerment, as opposed to oh, oh, wow, it's a surprise. Now we're pregnant with no thought about where we are in life or what preparations or things we might need, or just what does this journey even entail? It seems like in our society, motherhood is something that is like this separate island that we have to navigate within, like the bigger interworkings of society itself. And so, when it comes to conscious procreation, that term comes out of an intentional thought process and envisioning of what it is we want or not want, because, you know, frankly, children are kind of this whole, like this bouquet of so many unexpected things.
Speaker 2:But when we consciously envision what it is that we need, what is going on with ourselves, our physicality, our body, our relationship status and all of those things, then having a baby consciously has a much different feel, or even unfolding, kind of like an accidental garden where it's like, oh yeah, I threw a tomato out there and it just took root and it's growing, and it's just, you know this wild garden.
Speaker 2:Or it's like, oh yeah, I threw a tomato out there and it just took root and it's growing, and it's just, you know this wild garden. Or it's a garden that's intentionally planted. You plant the plant where you know it's going to be able to thrive the best because there's the most sun or resources or the things that that particular plant needs. Those are two completely different modalities, which then produces different types of quality crop. One may have, like, plants that are struggling and not doing as well, and one has plants that are thriving, because you understand what it needs and you're putting it where it needs to be. So that's kind of the metaphor for unconscious procreation versus conscious procreation.
Speaker 1:We paused this episode for a quick message from our sponsor. At Maternal Wealth. We aim to ensure that you have access to the best and the most appropriate care. That's why we created a maternal healthcare provider database. Maternal health providers can easily create profiles to promote their services and exciting way for women to search for and find maternal health providers near them and tailored to their specific needs. Profiles feature badges that highlight various services, such as TODAC-friendly practices, all-female practices, lgbtqai plus inclusivity, language options, access to. In this course, I discuss the variations that exist in hospital practices based on policies, staffing and budgets, all of which can directly affect your birth experience and outcome. We've all heard the term it takes a village to raise your child. For those of us who are going into motherhood, I think we don't really understand exactly what that village is until we get to the other side. How can we help women who are going into their first pregnancy, going into motherhood for the first time, set themselves up to have that village ready for them when they need it?
Speaker 2:So just a little background, right? I think sometimes we've heard this term but seldomly understand the implications and the importance of this term, and I'm that I was definitely one of those people like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, huh, sure, like, in my mind's eye, the thought process of oh, that's when you have way more babies, you need more, way more support. And so I came from this idea that, like, if I am a, like, I'm capable of taking care of myself, paying my own bills and, you know, owning my own things, and so motherhood, and that idea was very much so in alignment with that. And so I didn't do preparation or even think that I would need additional like support. I thought to myself like, oh yeah, sure, I'll join a mom's group or something like that. And it wasn't until after the fact, going through my own experiences and then seeing the experiences of the clients that I've served, like, oh my gosh, this is a pearl of wisdom for humanity period. And now you know if I were able to do it differently, I think, seeking out groups with other women and other people around that have shared values, that are actively growing their families. There's so much that I could have learned and also there's so much resources that I could have mined through the connection that I had with them, resources that I could have mined through the connection that I had with them. And so the village mentality.
Speaker 2:Sometimes we tend to just kind of assume like, oh yeah, I have a family, so sure, like my mom or my aunt or my sister, you know, that's just built in, and sometimes for some families they're absolutely blessed with those types of connections and that is the extended village that that baby is raised in. But really I think it's important to intentionally allow ourselves to be connected in like-minded groups and so that we can be able to have other people to turn to and ask questions. Should we be in that similar realm? I remember I didn't have anybody to turn to, really ask or consider like, is this normal? Did you go through this? Is this a thing? And so that it was very much so kind of like my own internalized experience, even though I was in midwifery school and serving clients. I realized that that I guess is part of maybe the American culture is that these conversations are not open and if you do have them, they're very hush, hush to like one on one, like almost secretive, like hey, so this thing's happening Like did it happen to you too?
Speaker 2:Now, looking back, I'm like, oh wow, that's one of those things that through how we hold space for each other which is what a village really really does we can change the culture of what is acceptable and how we show up for other people, including birthing people. As mothers and birthing people, we were never intended to do this alone. And when we look at the evolutionary process of having more humans and we look at the evidence that supports what actually helps produce a healthier family, you know, foundation in general is that family is then supported by other integral family members, and those integral family members are also supported by community members, kind of like a rose petal not even a rose petal, but a rose itself, where the very, very center of it is, you know, the baby coming from the mother and then the mother being surrounded by additional petals of the immediate family, and then the immediate family is supported by so on and so forth. You see what I mean. That right there. I'm like, oh my gosh. Community support, family support that is now something I counsel clients about prenatally, because I see it makes a huge difference in the degree of maternal mental health issues and also societal issues that then can impact their health.
Speaker 2:And so you know, when you already are with child or now, let's say, you're holding the baby in your hand it's a little bit harder to at that point, be able to then establish connections with someone new and then be able to build the trust that's needed to ask them something like oh can you come over and help me out with my dishes, or help me with my kid, or, or I'm having a tough time, I just need someone to talk to.
Speaker 2:You know, like at that point we're already in the need with a very limited capacity to then service that need. I believe that if we can start, you know, surrounding ourselves with people that we see how they family or how they parent, we're like, wow, that's really cool, I want to learn from them, let me be connected and be friends with them, whether that's from your church or from your, you know, social group or whatever the case is. Technology makes it very easy for us to be in connection with other people. That way, then we can have the space and the time to establish intimate bonds that then can provide us a resource later on when we have a new child in the picture.
Speaker 1:Having that village and that community and support is also so important when you're going through the process of labor and delivering your child. Many years ago I had a patient she was young, a teenager. Her partner wasn't involved and my patient's mother and her father were by her side the entire time and I can remember colleagues saying the father's there that's so weird, but it was beautiful because he was supporting his daughter in an appropriate, respectful manner and when the baby was born, when the birth happened, it was the creation of a new family and it was beautiful. So, regardless of where you can find your support, if it makes you feel safe, have those people with you on your labor and delivery journey, also Talking about, while you're pregnant and with your partner, about parenting, the philosophy of parenting, the dynamics of parenting.
Speaker 1:I'm going to circle back to when I was pregnant and thinking about me and my partner. We come from two totally different cultures and we never really sat down and had a conversation while I was pregnant about how parenting styles look for us and that parenting styles that we grew up in and kind of like weaving it together that worked for us, but something that might have surprised me or kind of caught me off guard, or maybe I wasn't a hundred percent okay with it. I knew that it was coming from a loving and safe space With your patients. Do you ever counsel couples to talk about parenting philosophy, parenting dynamics during the prenatal phase?
Speaker 2:Absolutely Ideally, I feel like I don't do enough pre-conception appointments, meaning clients seeking out my expertise and wisdom before they get pregnant, because these are conversations that can absolutely be had at that point, which then means there's so much more clarity once we've conceived a baby and we're pregnant with the baby. But at any point, you know, before, during and after the baby is born, these conversations, you know, still need to take place, especially, you know, and even if people come from similar cultural backgrounds or whatever the case is, you know, when we understand our own personal and family background and we can't just assume that everyone else's family or personal ideologies operate the same when we have that understanding and we then come together in a way that allows for this discussion, then that, I find, reduces a lot of relational strain which can lead to other complications in the relationship, which then has ripple effects into the rearing of that child altogether. I came from a family background where part of how you discipline is spanking and part of how you express love is, you know, done a certain way as opposed to another culture, is this more, maybe, words of affirmation and affection, and so when we have these conversations of like, oh, just wondering if our child did something that needs correcting, what do you think would be the appropriate response? Okay, cool, that's interesting. Why do you think that is? And then you can share your thoughts and back and forth. That can reduce then an in the moment, you know, issue or argument which then can have negative impacts on the kid. Because research shows that, like, children are extremely sensitive and part of the stress is for their environment, which can actually disrupt their development.
Speaker 2:And when I say disrupt development, I'm talking about being able to have healthy social connections, being able to learn and retain information, because their brain is not developing, because they're in fear response as opposed to open and loving and connected. All these things we can affect this degree of that by having these conversations ahead of time, which then just allows us to go deeper in partnership and meeting each other where each other is at. I've seen in the prenatal room and even the delivery and even postpartum, when I do home visits, the clashing of some of these issues or ideologies which you're only just doing what you think is right, but without these conversations you're seeing how they could potentially clash or impact. Now it's kind of like a crash course learning with the baby as opposed to a crash course, learning with each other when the stakes are low, and these things can ultimately either continue to pass on intergenerational trauma, or this is how we can heal and navigate, you know, through potential trauma dynamics and not repeat the past, having these conversations not just on our philosophies but also, you know, like our relational history, some of us may have more of an avoidant attachment style or more of an anxious attachment style, and you know, attachment theory is large, 100% based on what were the, what were your early attachments to your caregivers, typically your parents, right, these were the first humans you've ever even had any relationship with, which then creates the foundation for understanding how humans work and how humans relate. So when we see that that's just like, each and every one of us are not exempt from that, if we don't factor that understanding in, then we're doomed to repeat that same relational dynamic, which then will likely produce a child who will have some type of emotional instability or have these different responses, similar to both the parents, because that's not something that we then were able to grow and expand upon.
Speaker 2:So early conversations, especially pre-conceptionally, can help these expansions happen and minimize, if anything, you know, eliminate, you know, then the passing on of the trauma to the child, who is just a sponge. They're just taking on information and they can feel parents, dysregulation, what we think and feel and what we want to do about that can be very triggering, especially if you don't come from a securely attached, you know background where it's easy to have those conversations. So, yeah, early conversations is super important, which then means you know when you have these conversations and you're also in connection with a village or community you have. Additional became popularized in the early 1900s, so that goes to show you that that's been a more early development in how humans relation with each other, but not necessarily the best way that humans have been able to relationship with each other, which has an older, older history that includes way more individuals than just you know mom, dad, baby.
Speaker 1:This is a good segue into the next topic that we wanted to discuss Wellness, personal, family wellness, your mind, your body and your spirit. How often do you find that your patients going into the preconception phase? Think about family medical history, genetics, epigenetics. Think about family medical history, genetics, epigenetics. How often do you think that is integrated into the perinatal phase of pregnancy?
Speaker 2:I think it's not integrated enough. But from my standpoint, the first point of contact for many people is usually that initial appointment, that first appointment where they're seeing a provider whether it's a midwife or an OB and they're filling out all their health history information about, like, oh, do you have any of these medical conditions, do you have any of these social conditions, do you have any of these? Going on and on and on. And part of that is a genetic history, meaning like who in your family has hypertension, who in your family has mental health disorders? And so on and so forth. Sometimes people show up to that appointment not knowing many parts of that of themselves. You know pieces of what they're made of in essence, and so sometimes that's due to being, you know, adopted or having some type of situation or death in the family. But if we are able to glean these pieces of information before we even get pregnant, then that allows us to actually start making the either changes we need or the supplementation to whatever our needs are in order to mitigate some of these issues. So genetics, really, it's the blueprint of the makeup of everything that we are. It's the blueprint of the makeup of everything that we are, but how our genetics are expressed is largely attributed to the environment that we're in and also the way we relation with each other. And when we have that awareness before we even conceive, then we can like, let's say, some kind of genetic disorder that has an issue with how we metabolize. You know food supplements, various things like that. Here's an example like MTHFR. You know, like understanding, oh yeah, my mom has this or my dad has this or this or that. Then you know, before even getting pregnant, okay, so I want to take these particular type of supplements so that my body is able to actually absorb them, which then means when I conceive a baby, the baby's actually able to get the nutrients they need, which then means I'm reducing the likelihood of having a you know, malformation or a miscarriage or this or that, because I knew, going into this, what factors are a play in my genetics. So that would be an example of like why that piece of information is important.
Speaker 2:Another one would be you know, it seems like in on my mother's side. You know, breast cancer. You know, my aunt had it, my great grandma had it, my grandma had it. Okay, what were some of the conditions surrounding that? None of them breastfed. Okay, well, what's the information about breastfeeding? We see that it has a huge decrease in the occurrence of breast cancer, maybe despite the fact that my family did not breastfeed. Maybe that would be a really, really important decision for me, increasing all these health benefits for my baby, and so on and so forth.
Speaker 2:So all of these things are a conscious way of navigating having a baby as opposed to.
Speaker 2:Oh, I had no idea, and now we're literally walking in the same steps or having the same health outcomes as our family. Genetics really kind of holds like a 10% probability of how things will come out for you, and the rest of the 90% is what you do with that genetics and what's the environment you live in regarding those genetics, and that, then, is what shapes epigenetics, which is a word for on top of your genetics, and that, then, is what shapes epigenetics, which is a word for on top of your genetics. So we can understand, like, oh, this outcome from this family member who had this particular lifestyle, if you literally don't do that lifestyle despite the fact that you have the same genetics as them. Now you have 90% of that outcome in your control because you're simply living different and doing different, and there's no way that we can have this information if we're not having these conversations, and so that goes into the village of being able to mine for information and mine other families for information and what they did about it and how they navigate it, and this is then how we build upon it and be able to do best practices for better outcomes.
Speaker 1:One of the things that I don't find that is very integrant into the community right now is just talking about anything that has to do really with the reproductive system knowing our own anatomy, sharing our birth stories. How important do you think it is for us to start integrating the knowledge of our own anatomy, of what birth really looks like, our birth stories, postpartum back into our daily conversations, not only with ourselves but with the youth in our children?
Speaker 2:I think that is absolutely integral. I would say a good metaphor for that would be like passing on generational wealth, as opposed to now that being who's thinking about having a child, or who is now pregnant with a child, having to start on a zero bank account and they don't have the previous foundation to stand on. Can you make it happen? Sure, but I truly, truly do believe we're at a time in our humanity where it is not good enough to survive anymore. It's time for us to thrive. When we live in the mode of survival, which is what you in essence have to do, when you're starting from ground zero, you have to establish like a roof over your head of this or that, and you're taking in all these things to be able to then just be able to be right, then there's so much opportunity that's missed for the potentiality of how much more incredible the human growth spectrum can be. And so having conversations with our elders, ourselves, each other in our same age group and the children that come up after us is part of that generational wealth that we can pass on, and so many of us. And, frankly, when you think about humanity and how we got to this point, every single aspect of our human survival, and the reality we live in is based on the foundation of the survival, and the reality of the in is based on the foundation of the survival and the reality of the people that had to live before us. That's why we literally are able to flip on a light switch and we have light, because once upon a time, someone invented a light bulb and then, from there, someone was able to manufacture them on a large scale, and then, from there, we had lamps, and then, from there, we have stores that were able to sell and pass them on, so much so that now it would be weird for there to be a place that's sufficiently lit. Okay, so having these kind of conversations is kind of that same thought process.
Speaker 2:I know that I feel as though, if I grew up in these type of conversations and having this awareness, then it wouldn't be after the fact, after suffering with, you know, maternal mental health issues, you know, after struggling with breastfeeding issues, after struggling with all these things, and then realizing like, oh, wow, how'd I know? So having the information and the knowledge, then literally it's like money in your bank account because now you are able to better choose. Actually, I'm going to do this instead, because I see that the outcomes are better, and I also want to make sure that you know this particular health issue that my mother went through when having me, or my aunt went through when having my cousins. I don't want to have, and you cannot at all navigate these potential options that you have available to you without any of the prior knowledge, without any of the prior conversation.
Speaker 2:And how do you have conversations? You have to have relationships. How do you have relationships? You have to have a village, and before all of that, you know, you ultimately have to then weigh in for yourself what it is that you're doing and envisioning for your life period, so then you can thereby find the information you need. So I think the biggest important takeaway is how do we want a mother like?
Speaker 2:if you actually think about that before we even get pregnant, then that sets us on a rabbit hole for well. I know how I was mothered and these are some of the things I know I don't want to do. Let me talk to my mom and see what was going on for her. Oh, wow, she was really, really stressed because finances were an issue. Oh, she was really really stressed because, you know, she didn't have the village support she needed. These particular health outcomes keep happening in my family line, family after family member after family member. I'm saying it's because they didn't have whatever, whatever, whatever. So now, when we can see where the deficiencies lie, then we can, on purpose, supplement and reinforce those aspects for ourselves, because we for sure know what we don't want to do.
Speaker 2:That's one of the beautiful things about generations is looking back in the past and frankly, that's what we've done as humans all together. Back in the day, we used to tell women to smoke cigarettes and to drink alcohol and it was actually information passed on by the Surgeon General for the whole entire United States Because at that time, the philosophy and the understanding was your babies will be smaller. Why is it important that they want the baby smaller? That was because they would actually put women under twilight sleep and they would pull the babies out of them. That would be very hard to do if the babies were larger. You see what I'm saying. But now that evidence is showing more information about, actually that has a whole slew of bad outcomes for mom and for baby, and this is why this is no longer the standard, Now that we know better. No doctor, no midwife, no anybody today would actively say this as a pro-health tip, even though it used to be able to have the awareness of what has happened. So you can make different choices and the only way you can do that is to ask questions, and you can still ask questions, you know, while pregnant.
Speaker 2:But I think the path of motherhood can be one that can be more, so much more enjoyable and so much more soul fulfilling and less of a like quote unquote sacrifice. You know I, I really would like to see a different, a different way we identify with motherhood than what we identify today. So it is no secret that the human population, I don't want to say is on a decline, because we're still having more humans, but on average for people who are having babies, meaning there are now becoming more and more people not having babies. On average people having babies, we're having like 1.2 babies per family structure, per nuclear family or per reproductive pair, you know. And then we are having people that are like from the time that they're teenagers and what they're doing is they're watching society, they're watching their moms, they're watching all of that and seeing the problems and issues. And so now you know some of the studies out there that they've done children who are now in childbearing years or age.
Speaker 2:Their perception of having more children is that you have to sacrifice yourself your mental health, you get put back financially.
Speaker 2:It largely is kind of this negative idea and that's because of how we've been doing motherhood and how we've culturally and societally put it on the separate little island, which then means people have to navigate, you know medical leave and all these other things, so so it just makes it harder and the whole basis of us being on this planet is because we procreate.
Speaker 2:So it's like we then need to do better with the system of procreating if we want to then have a healthy continuation of humans coming out into the world, which you know is kind of this like chicken or the egg philosophy.
Speaker 2:You know which one needs to come first, which one's more important, and I feel that it is having open conversations and creating a more transparent and openness where motherhood exists in our culture and society, just like anything and everything else, so that it has the proper blood flow, circulation that it needs to thrive, which then decreases the level of sacrifice or the level of risk or the level of like.
Speaker 2:You know how much people end up suffering because we have it completely cut off and isolated. And when we can, you know, have a better integration in that sense, then I think the narrative will now change in terms of you know, we're not afraid of having babies Now. We're excited about having babies Now. You know, having a child is not something that people look at as largely ruining your life, or one that you have to put your life on hold look at as largely ruining your life or one that you have to put your life on hold. It's just a part of life, while you get to still do life, because you're not secluded from being able to continue to be a part of life and everyday living.
Speaker 1:One of the things I want to talk to you about the vision that women have when they're pregnant and for their birth. We all have this idea of how we want the birth to go, how we want labor to go. So many times I have patients coming to me and, whether verbally or on paper, they're expressing the kind of care that they want to receive for their labor, for their induction, for their birth. So frequently I'll hear that my patient is seeking midwifery care, but they have hired an OB or MFM to be their birth provider. So what they're seeking and who they've hired to be their birth provider, it's two entirely different things, different things. You, as a midwife, I would love for you to share with our listeners because you know the midwifery model, and for women who are seeking the midwifery model of care, why should they prioritize having a midwife for their labor and delivery?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so this goes, you know circles, right back to this topic that we're having in this first series, which is having these preconception conversations, because more people, I truly believe, would actually find themselves wanting to book with the midwife than with the MFM or an OB, and part of how they get into this is, you know, the sometimes they'll say, oh, my mom said she had to have this infection and she had to have this and that. Or you know, people are telling me that, and this is before they even get pregnant, sometimes that X, y, z is going to happen to me, so I just need to go this route. And so it comes out from a lack of conversations and knowledge and understanding what options are even out. There. There's an idea of we want support and we want empowerment while we're birthing, but what we see reflected to us and what we're being told to us by the people around us is it's through this route, through an OB, through an MFM, and so then they're not fully understanding or aware as to what are the different modalities that these different practices even can provide for you. So if, before even getting pregnant, you know like what are the different provider types that are, what are the different modalities that are contained within them, that are contained within them. Then you're able to actively choose. Oh, I want this right, versus finding yourself after the fact being like I wish I had you know.
Speaker 2:So those situations I find happen out of lack of knowledge or information, because from the get go, what was presented to them is that these are, this is the way that you do it and that's what we see reflected in society is that about 90% of the births that are happening in our country happen in a hospital. And then who are those providers in the hospital? Largely OBs and maternal fetal medicine and a very small percentage of midwives. This backwards thing, and so a lot of the clients that I see for their second and third pregnancies, is because they had an outcome or they had a type of birth with the provider. That's not what they wanted from the, from the get-go, but they weren't armed with the provider. That's not what they wanted from the get-go, but they weren't armed with the information of how to get what they want and needed in the first place. So first things first. You know at any point of the pregnancy whether you know you haven't conceived yet or if now you find yourself, you know, with that positive pregnancy test, is what are the different provider types that you have in your area and the different provider types that are out?
Speaker 2:There are midwives. Many states have midwives. Some of them are registered, licensed or whatever the case is. Some places have traditional midwives and then there's nurse midwives and then there's an OB and then a perinatologist, or also known as maternal field medicine, when you understand the scope of practice for each one. So now, looking at pyramid metaphor, the bottom of the pyramid, which is the largest you know surface area, let's say, is where midwives are.
Speaker 2:So midwives cover the scope of care of normal, healthy developing pregnancy. There's not any, you know, huge health issues going on. Someone doesn't have, like, a heart condition and they're seeing a cardiologist and they're taking medicines and they're having surgeries and this and that. Then you know it's like, oh, okay, well, I largely don't have any health issues and I'm pretty low risk. I want to be in this category and in this category I see the benefits are I get more information in terms of a healthy developing pregnancy. I get a longer one-on-one appointment time. I get more of a connected feel with somebody who feels more like a intimate family support as opposed to something that feels less personalized. And then you are aware of the benefits and the statistics that come out with that provider type. And then you go up to the next provider type. You know like, oh, their scope of care is they're able to take care of people who have some, you know, health issues or this or that, and these are the particular benefits that come out of that type of provider type and these are the statistics that we see reflected for them. So, no different than buying a car and how we look at what is their crash rating, what is their safety seatbelts, what is their customer service satisfaction. When we can look at all of that and we're, in essence, reading the reviews before we buy it we're more likely to be happy and satisfied with our purchase at the end because we got the thing that we actually needed, as opposed to what was presented to us is you have just one option and then you went with that option, only to realize that wasn't the fit for you.
Speaker 2:Many people have actually, you know, found midwifery care because of the village that they're in or because of the connections that they have in their community Meaning in church. They see so-and-so having baby number five and she had four of her babies with the midwife. Now that's in their realm of reality that a midwife-free care is even an option. And so they start to have a conversation and then they see, wow, she had a great outcome. She had the baby at home. She said it was so comfortable. You know, x, y, z happened to her. She had all these things available to her. That looks kind of good. That looks like something I want to do. I talked to so-and-so. They said that they had this particular birth outcome that they weren't able to eat and they had to have all these rules and regulations and all these things. And I don't know. That doesn't quite feel like something I want to do.
Speaker 2:So you can absolutely be able to navigate your situation better the more information you have.
Speaker 2:But if you don't have that or you're not having conversations with other people that are having babies, you can't know what your options are really.
Speaker 2:But there is a lot of research out there that you can do and sometimes at least get a kind of like a review, just like a product review, you know, online, and just look at different outcomes and probabilities and what are some things that are required for that type of thing, and then you can choose okay, this fits better for my situation, what I have going on with my health and so on and so forth, which then means you have to have all the other previous awarenesses built in, such as you're aware of your genetics and you're aware of your personal wellness and where you are in life and I do have a cardiac issue.
Speaker 2:Maybe I need to make sure that I'm with a provider that can address that or I don't have any health issues and I want this type of thing, you know. So it's. It's such a dynamic conversation that is best served when we're looking at all the pieces before we have a baby, because then you're able to put together a nice custom little package for yourself that is based off of your wants and needs, as opposed to a reactive oh geez. And then you have the experience after the fact, looking at it, being like, oh, I wish X, y, z, and that's not as fun. You know, nobody wants to go through something and have more regrets as opposed to a positive experience that had the things that they wanted in the first place.
Speaker 1:All of these things that we're talking about today circles back to us taking our power back in birth, going to be at the hospital, understanding how you and your partner want to raise your child or your children, understanding the genetics, epigenetics all of this. How you want to mother, that's such a great question. I don't think I ever sat down and thought about how I want to mother. I was thinking about I need this and I need that and this is what I need. It was more of a materialistic understanding as opposed to who and how I want to show up for my child.
Speaker 2:That has been a North star for me, but I think it was one that I discovered after I had a child as opposed to before. So my experience was very much so similar to yours, which is, you know, oh, the things that I need and support, that I need to set up and that kind of thing, the logistics of, like, making sure there's room for the head and making sure that there's food in the bellies. But since then, and also seeing the difference between the types of motherhood, that I'm like, oh my gosh, I look so good. Look at her. She's glowing. She doesn't have a care in the world. She's doing so good. Oh, look at that baby, look at that. Whatever, like.
Speaker 2:Those are the forms of mothering and motherhood we look at and many of us desire, thinking that that's exactly what our experience is going to be like. But these things that we talked about today is actually part of how you actually then bring that envisioning into fruition, which is why I thought it was so important that we talk about these particular points, because that is the difference between the two, the difference between doing it consciously and doing it unconsciously, and also, I think, many women, every time we have a child, we can understand how to do it better. You know what it is that didn't work for us and navigate it differently, which is where I realized, like the power that that's our power right there is for me to choose and decide how do I want to mother, what's going to work for me, what's going to help my baby thrive, what's going to help me feel most at ease mentally, in my body and in my spirit, where I didn't know that those were even options until after the fact. And, you know, after going through depression and anxiety and all these things in my early mothering, realizing that like if I actually had and I know that that's not in alignment with the way I want to mother then I'm going to choose a different option. And so I feel that part of one of the ways women can absolutely stand in power and in sovereignty is by having a vision of that beforehand. And so since then, I now have asked myself that question and that's my guidance for feeling out what works and what's not working.
Speaker 2:Because when I find that I'm yelling or feeling exasperated, or feeling stressed and I realized, like I never wanted to mother like this, like this doesn't feel good to me, this is not the mom that I wanted to be, like, I don't want to be that lady. I want to be the one who's like, happy and excited to hold her kid and to play with them. And you know who feels excited about, you know, this growth in my life and in this person's life, because they're in it. And then realizing like, oh gosh, okay, so if that's then how I want to mother, then I'm seeing that this thing that I'm navigating is not working for me, so I'm going to choose something different.
Speaker 2:I think that was a privilege that many, many generations before us did not get to have, and earlier in this conversation that's what I was talking about in terms of I believe it is beyond time now in our human evolution to go from survival to thriving, and the way we do that is by having a conscious idea of how we want to mother and choosing that, and of giving ourselves the space and the authority to have that, versus having an external source say what we can and can't have, regardless of if it's in alignment with what feels good to us and I don't just mean feels good, like in a frou-frou way, like things that feel good tend to be good for us too, you know, mind, body and spirit. And there is the key, that is, step number one, to truly holding on to our power and making choices in alignment with what serves that power, which, then, that serves the vision of the mothers we want to be we want to be.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful, that resonates deeply. I think this message needs to be heard.
Speaker 2:So thank you for saying that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you so much for the opportunity to get to say this.
Speaker 2:I realized that this whole journey has also birthed so many aspects of the woman that I am today, right here, right now, just by going through the process that I didn't necessarily know or think or have, which I realized like, oh wow, this is why I feel called to share it, because I'm sure I'm not the only one who has felt, you know, scared or traumatized from their birth experience, or who have just struggles about, like motherhood and being beyond irritated and annoyed and even angry.
Speaker 2:And it's like when I was a kid, thinking about having a baby, my thought process was way different, like I thought it was going to be way cooler. So, you know, I now it's like, okay, let me put together you know, experience and evidence-based information and also just what I'm seeing in the clinical space with the experience of hundreds and hundreds of other people, and highlight the truth so that we can then be able to all of us harness that sovereign power to feel happy and at ease and love mothering and love having more babies and hopefully culturally change the narrative of, you know, having a child ruins your life and so on and so forth. Like I feel that if we don't make a change soon, these kind of things will be the undoing of humanity. That's literally why we even have more humans is because we're having them. But if the narrative stays negative, if we continue to keep relinquishing our power, then we're just going to just not exist anymore, because, unfortunately, we believed that it was so bad that we just didn't participate.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I never even stopped to think like that.
Speaker 2:Correct, right. But then there's the alternative of then forced procreation. You know where it's like. That's not cool either. So we have to absolutely take our power back so that we have a different way of doing humanity period.
Speaker 1:Where Midway, audrey is going to discuss conception, preparing to conceive, creating a space for a baby. We will also discuss rainbow babies, babies after a loss, and that will be, for me, I'm sure, a heavy conversation. We will get through it and it will be a great conversation. So we look forward to hearing. We look forward to our listeners to hearing more.
Speaker 2:I'm excited to bring more Until next time, everyone.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening. Be sure to check out our social media. All links are provided in the episode description. We're excited to have you here. Please give us a follow If you or someone you know would like to be a guest on the show. Reach out to us via email at info at maternalwealthcom. And remember stay healthy, embrace your power and you got this, thank you.